This is about more than Yoni eggs, incense, and locs and braids. It’s about more than having the mystical allure of Ms. Badu or the goddess energy of Lisa Bonet.
We have lost the Black Family.
And the Divine Feminine is how we get it back.
But Black women are too busy trying to be a Boss.
There, I said it.
Don’t get me wrong, we fought hard to get into the workplace into levels where men previously ruled the roost. Somewhere on that journey, we forgot to take care of our families. We have allowed the archetypal idea of the Black family to decay and practically disappear. Grandma is now in her late 30s and still trying to chase a man in the streets. She’s no longer the older woman whose age you never knew who stuffs peppermints in your mouth and who had you on the back porch peeling shrimp and shelling snap peas. Mom is too busy in the car singing trap music with her kids and changing her filter on SnapChat.
Our Black families are withering away and damn near nonexistent.
And it’s because we refuse to live in our Divine Feminine.
I’m in a ton of social media groups online where people in my demographic speak ad nauseam on love and relationships. There are a few main discussions that replay over and over.
Should a woman fix her man’s plate?
Does a woman’s education and her degrees block her chances at love?
What is a real man and how do you know when you’ve found him?
A few topics that no matter how many times they are posted, they always get a lot of heat.
And here’s why.
They speak to women and their role in the family unit.
Now, go ahead and get mad. Start sucking your teeth. You can even walk away from this post. I don’t care. But there are some common themes here and they keep coming up for discussion because there is a problem.
Women are too busy trying to be a Boss. Living in masculine energy.
I am pro-woman. I am a woman, unapologetically. Always have been. But because of that, I believe in the synergy between masculine and feminine energy. It is scientifically proven that as humans, we possess both energies. The Universe thrives off of complements.
So where does this need to be the boss come from?
Let me break down the vicious cycle that continues to extinguish the Black family.
It’s starts with Mama being unhappy. She chose a rolling stone, never really married for love- if she ever married at all. One of two things happens- Mama gets a divorce and becomes bitter because her marriage did not work out, or she remains in a lifeless marriage with a man that she does not love and who does not love her.
Either way, you see Mama isn’t happy. You internalize her beliefs. She may have even given you “advice”- her and Big Mama. They tell you that men are useless and that if you get married, be prepared for him to cheat and run around town. Because that’s what men do, right?
No. That’s what the man did that Mama and Big Mama chose.
That does not have to be your life. But it is, because you now believe that men are expendable, useless. So when you are out dating (or maybe not), you either have low standards or minimal to no expectations for successful relationships.
In order to date, you may even pay for a man’s affection or attention. You pay for dates, vacations, all of the bills in the house. And you do it because you are an independent woman. You can handle your own.
Yes, that fact is true. But then when that relationship is over (or you are living in a state of misery), you go into a man rage. Men are no good, etc. You don’t need a man. You can do bad by your damn self.
The truth? You chose one that was immature. And it was because you weren’t all of the way whole. Your perspective on relationships is skewed and formed through the lens of negative experiences based on someone else’s experience. And now, you go and recreate that experience. Let other women who have been hurt, shamed, abused, misled, assist you in forming your opinion and belief system regarding relationships. And so when you go and choose a boy, an immature manchild, then you touch and agree with all that you have learned.
And the cycle starts again.
But there is a way to break it.
The Divine Feminine.
I’m not speaking here are about being a Feminist or a Womanist. Not necessarily.
If as a woman, you are necessary in the home, why is the man not necessary? This very thought process has our homes off balance and out of order. It instills in our boys that they are expendable and replaceable- that is, until #BlackLivesMatter.
It is up to us, as women, to bring back the Black family.
And we do it with our Divine Feminine, a concept that speaks to our interconnectedness. Feminine energy is nurturing and thrives on the connection to nature, a Higher Power, and wisdom. Women are the light in the household, the peace. Our power is an intuitive power, one that is sensual and the basis of life force. It is creative and its very essence dictates that as humans we are not separate from each another. We cannot exist without one another.
Over time, this dynamic energy has been suppressed and silenced. As women we fought back by wanting to dominate and take over. So now we have a society of women who live in masculine energy. We live in wanting to “Boss Up” and take control and while that may work in the workplace, it does not create balance in the home. Our young boys have mothers who are overtly sexual versus living in their sensuality. A man can find sex anywhere. As a matter of fact, many still pay for it. Finding a woman who is sensual is not as easy.
As women we should pray over our homes and families- our men too. We placed our personal power in being blatantly aggressive in society. And then still expect a masculine man to be in our homes.
That won’t work.
And it’s the reason why many of you continue to choose boys. Your masculine energy needs someone that you can rule. Someone that you can control and that you can “Boss Up” on. And then when that man is over it, you are upset and men turn into low-lifes.
It’s because you are not walking in your Divine Feminine.
When more of us do, it will bring back our Black families. Mold us, shape our homes. Make our children feel secure, so our daughters won’t think that Mommy will choose sex with a man over the love of her child. Sexual vs Sensual.
When more of us do, we will teach our sons that their lives do matter every day, long before they become an image on a meme with hashtags and the value of their lives get reduced to the monetary pay out from a city police department after they have been gunned down in the street like a rabid animal.
When more of us do, we will realize that fatherhood is integral. Images of strong Black men are fundamental in the rebuilding of our Black families. Our boys and our men have to know how essential they are in our lives. And that as a mother, we will not feel the need to replace them or zap the very life out of every Father’s Day with a barrage of Mother’s Day well wishes- simply because as a woman, you chose wrong.
Walking in our Divine Feminine requires a Divine Masculine counterpart. A respect for the balance and the synergy between the two.
The moment we, as women, understand the true power in our feminine reaches far past our vagina and sexual prowess, we can walk in the power that will rebuild and revitalize our families.