Atlantic City, New Jersey boasts fabulous amenities for America’s senior citizens. See the broad boardwalk, perfect for fresh air and exercise. Notice the limited-mobility seniors rolling along on rented scooters and the wheelchair-bound joining the fun at easily accessible slot machines and blackjack tables. Feast your eyes on dozens of exotic and affordable buffets, and don’t miss the drug discounts and free lunch coupons handed out at every turn. All day and far into the night, the buses zip to and from retirement centers, carrying promises of excitement. And did you hear? Tony Bennett’s here tonight, crooning all those songbook classics grandma knows by heart. And she’s not going alone. She found a date on an Atlantic City senior hookup site.
Look: just over there is your neighbor Mr. Jones, professional man and pillar of the community. At 68 he’s the picture of respectability and sound judgment.