You show up every day at a job you hate. Your marriage makes you feel miserable. You hate where you live. You're not making enough money. You ask yourself: how the heck did I get here? How the heck do I get out?
I've had the great fortune of being stuck in all of these areas of life, and all of them at the same time. I say fortunate, because when the reality of my life eventually smacked me in the face, I had to own-up and admit that I hadn't exactly been good at doing life. But the best thing that happened was that my crappy life caused me to get to the bottom of why I wasn't thriving.
I came to discover that everything that was showing up externally in my life was a direct reflection of what was going on internally. I was the one who had created my crappy life by how I was thinking and feeling about everything. The only way I could truly change my life was to break the habit of being my usual self. Who I was BEING had to change. And that's precisely what I did.
But the fact remains. When you're super-glued to a life you hate, how do you begin the process of un-gluing yourself, changing yourself? Making big changes doesn't come easy when you have bills to pay and you've gotten used to having a familiar roof over your head.
The one big conundrum about being stuck in a miserable life is that it makes you FEEL miserable. And that right there is the rub. Because if you're continually feeling miserable, unhappy, angry, or lonely, you're actually perpetuating your stuck-ness, which makes it impossible to change the trajectory of your life.
It took me years to finally discover that the most powerful solvent for getting unstuck, would be to find ways to raise and improve my energy -- to get happy.
We've typically been taught to troubleshoot our problems by thinking that we need to THINK about what ACTION to take. Taking action doesn't always come easy when you feel stuck, because you feel unsure, scared, and uninspired. There's nothing wrong with taking action, but before you start walking down that path, consider taking a more unconventional approach.
I learned these four steps from Abraham-Hicks (my favorite teachers). They inspired me to do these steps every day, and they have worked miracles in my life:
1. Everyday, find 10 or 15 minutes to meditate. I know you've heard all of this before, but it damn well works. Sit in a quiet place and quiet your mind by focusing on you breathing. Get in the habit of doing this, even though your head is spinning with your problems and how you think you should solve them.
2. Everyday, take a walk outside no matter what the weather is doing. And as you walk, look for things to appreciate. Even if you live in a crappy neighborhood, find a flower that's growing in-between the concrete. Appreciate the birds chirping. Appreciate the way people decorate and maintain their houses and gardens. Appreciate, the sky above you. The trash bins. The weeds that never stop growing. The ground beneath your feet. And as you're walking, talk out loud. Let the words come out of your mouth. Hear yourself appreciate.
3. Keep a Positive notebook, and write positive aspects of everything and everyone you encounter, particularly about people and things that get you down. Write something positive about your crappy job or boss or partner. Find something positive to think about them and your circumstances. Do this for ten minutes every day, and in this way, you will begin to train your brain to see your world in a new way. You will begin to break the habit of how you usually view your life.
And last, but not least. The step I love most.
4. Everyday, step outside and look up at the sky. Look up at the sun or the stars, and acknowledge that there are powerful universal forces that are focused right at YOU. Whether you call this force God, Universe, or Source, appreciate that this force is taking care of you, and is always intending for your well-being. And as you go about managing your troublesome job or marriage, know that the universe is guiding, helping, supporting, and loving you.
Breaking the habit of your self requires a heavy dose of appreciation. These four steps will help you to get into an endless loop of appreciation. And when that happens, watch your life begin to discover a new path and direction. Doors will begin to open for you , doors you never even knew were there.
Do these four things every day.