You are now beating with the two hearts, my ayurvedic doctor said to me, when I became pregnant.
Isn't that a beautiful thing -- two hearts beating in one person?
This way of phrasing the miracle of the life inside me brought on a whole new sense of awareness. That led me to the research of prenatal psychology.
This modern line of psychology acknowledges that a fetus is already conscious when in the womb. From conception and onwards the little life is largely affected by how and where its mother lives, works and what she eats, works drinks, inhales, experiences, thinks and feels.
This means that the mother is an active player and (co)creator of the baby and its future life.
Isn't it beautiful?
And.
Isn't it distressing?
Personally, I would sometimes stress out about stressing my baby, when I had a big hormonal cry (which was quite a fe times during those nine months). Or when I ate a lovely sugary cinnamon bun (which was a lot more than a few times during those nine months). Or when I had an argument with my partner: Was I harming the little beating heart in my womb by not being ever perfectly zen and balanced?!
The thing is, no matter how much you read, research or practice being pregnant perfectly, you will not be. Perfect is an illusion. Let's remind ourselves and each other of that.
Every single mother will at some point during pregnancy and motherhood do or say things that she will regret. That is life. Just like she is doing the best she can with what she has.
Prenatal psychology must not become a means to extra worry or selfblame. An expecting mother has enough to worry about as it is, right?
Fearing and feeling bad about feeling bad, will -- of course -- do nothing good for either mama or baby.
A self-loving attitude and forgiveness, on the other hand, will do a lot of good. And -- after all isn't that something we would like to teach our child?
The knowledge of prenatal psychology is a great means to become more conscious of life and a gentle reminder to marinate ourselves and our babies in love.
I believe that it is every mother's innate nature to want to give her offspring the best start in life -- and yes, that starts in the womb.
Therefore the best we can do is to take our time to (re)connect with our nature. We were born to give birth. We already know how to be pregnant and how to mother, even if we have never tried it before. It is our natural mother instinct. Trust in that. That is the best starting point from which to connect and communicate with your unborn child.
During my pregnancy I danced, sang, talked and wrote letters (unsent, obviously) to my baby. I also did this meditation as a nightly ritual. It helped me to relax and communicate with my little baby girl. It made me feel like our two hearts were beating as one.
Do It Yourself
Heart to heart meditation:
1. Find a comfortable seat for meditation. If your pelvis is bothered by pregnancy avoid sitting crossed legged. Instead, you might want to sit on a chair with your feet touching the floor. Or try Hero Pose on a pillow on the floor.
2. Place left hand on your heart. Right hand on your beautiful belly.
3. Deepen your breath. Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your nose. If you feel short of breath, which is normal during pregnancy, breathe out through your mouth.
4. Relax your jaws. Close your eyes and the area around them.
5. With the help from your breath allow your body and thoughts to calm down. And then send your awareness to the palms of your hands.
6. Now, inhale and on your exhale send the breath from left palm to the right palm. Continue 5 rounds.
7. Visualize a golden thread between the palms connecting your heart to your baby's heart.
8. Imagine to inhale golden light and exhale love sending it straight into your baby's heart.
9. Continue at least ten rounds of this golden breath and let it become a circle of love from heart-to-heart. Connecting you and your baby.
10. End the meditation by sitting quietly. Marinate your baby in love, trust and happiness and tell him/her that everything is just as it should be.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN YOUR OWN BIRTH & PRENATAL PSYCHOLOGY, ALSO CHECK OUT ANNA VERWAAL'S TED TALK HERE