Media outlets have been struggling to uniquely package Hurricane Irene content over the past few days. Breaking news websites and Twitter feeds have floods and power outages covered, so how do lifestyle sites, especially those geared specifically to one gender or the other, find a unique angle?
The examples below show that, even when it comes to natural disasters, men and women have different priorities -- or, at least, the writers and editors of these sites think they do.
1. Humorous Survival Tips
Men's Site Take: Douchey
Playboy's "The Smoking Jacket" blog gives readers "Six Tips For Surviving Hurricane Irene In One Piece," which includes suggestions to "invoke dead grandma and cop a feel," stay away from NFL stations, and befriend disabled people.
Choice quote: "If there is such a thing as karma, you can't do much better for yourself in a life-or-death hurricane situation than saddling up with a cripple."
Women's Site: Ditzy
"Going Lo-Co" blogger Karen Swanson divulges her "Hurricane Irene Shopping Spree": "With Hurricane Irene a'stormin up the east coast, I joined the thousands flocking to the stores this morning to stock up on food. Actually, I must admit the embarrassing truth: my panic-buying began last night." Swanson grabs three iPhone battery chargers, even though she only needed one, and plans a hurricane-friendly meal involving No-Sugar-Added-Applesauce and leftover quinoa.
Choice quote: "As I stuffed 5 bags worth of groceries into my pantry/the fridge, I stared at the Silk soy coffee creamer I'd auto-tossed into my cart. Creamer in hand, I wigged at the realization that my Keurig coffee machine doesn't have a battery."
2. Assets In Need Of Protection
Men's Site: Sports Tickets
In a post called "Hurricane Irene already taking its toll on sporting events," Guyism gives dudes the DL on which sports events are likely to be shut down this weekend, while wishing them the best of luck on making it to the games despite the winds and torrential downpour.
Choice Quote: "So yea, if you're on the east coast and have a ticket for a sporting event this weekend, well, good luck. Even if you're able to get there, you'll probably need a pretty serious rain poncho and a heavy duty umbrella.... oh yea, and a life preserver."
Women's Site: Puppies
"Momathon" blogger Chris Olsen wrote a BlogHer roundup on the special needs of pets during a hurricane, which involve proper ID tags and pet "To-Go" bags.
Choice Quote: "If you are not safe to stay in your home during a hurricane, then your pet is not safe either."
3. Ways To Fight Boredom
Men's Site: Funny Photos
I can't really follow the logic in this one, so here's COED Magazine's intro without comment. You have to give them props for trying.
Choice Quote: "Irene's being a real b*tch. It wasn't enough that she messed up America's island playground (the Bahamas), she's getting stronger and is now in the United States. The damage that the "experts" (people who aren't photogenic enough to be news anchors) are predicting could be pretty serious, and people could lose valuable personal items to water damage. Slightly more damaging to your memories would be someone ruining your picture with an intentionally disturbing image."
Women's Site: Childhood TV
XoJane says "Sesame Steet Makes Everything OK," and recommends that those seeking reassurance watch Sesame Street's adorable "Hurricane Kit
Choice Quote: "Yes, they're for kids. But we all need a little soothing sometimes, no matter how old we are."
4. More Ways To Fight Boredom: Must-Watch TV Clips
Men's Site: Nudity
BroBible shares a viral video from the Weather Channel's Virginia Beach report in which a "poor storm-porn reporter" gets photo-bombed by streakers.
Choice Quote: "Before you click play on the YouTube video below, you've been warned: There will be dong."
Women's Site: Fashion
Jezebel is skeptical about this New York TV fashion segment on how the city's women are "more concerned with looking stylish during the storm than bothering with an emergency kit or stocking up on dry goods." Ladies, meet the "Evacuistas."
Choice quote: "So, okay: it's fine that you interviewed women as they were in and around shops, but it's not okay to imply that the entire city's lady-population is more concerned with being an "Evacuista" than protecting themselves from potential danger."
5. Practical Advice
Men's Site: Booze
Esquire shares four different cocktail ideas like "The Painkiller" ("Because Sailor Jerry is pretty shamelessly plugging a hurricane cocktail, but this one's better") and the Sea Captain special ("Because it'll make damn well sure you can't show up to the office on Monday"). There is also a Dazed and Confused clip for your enjoyment.
Choice quote: "Shake, hard as hell, the a half-cup of crushed ice, along with the vodka, lime juice, and syrup mix. Pour into fancy glasses, garnish with sage. Serves two. Toast to her."
Women's Site: Babies
iVillage asks the March of Dimes how pregnant women and new moms should prepare for the upcoming hurricane. Tips include reviewing the signs of preterm labor and packing necessities like extra maternity clothes and protein-rich snacks.
Choice Quote: "The impending hurricane is stressful enough: Will we need to evacuate? What's our emergency plan? Will the house flood? Will my garden gnomes wash away into the great abyss? Add being pregnant or a new parent to the mix, and it's a category 5 anxiety attack."