How to Explain the Miss Piggy/Kermit Breakup to Your Parents

Kids, recently something horrible happened. Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog, fixtures of your parents' childhood, split up. This is going to be very difficult on your parents. They are going to need your love and support to get through this rough time.
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Kids, recently something horrible happened. Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog, fixtures of your parents' childhood, split up. This is going to be very difficult on your parents. They are going to need your love and support to get through this rough time.

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You have probably been too busy keeping up with Kardashians, so here is a tweet that explains the turmoil rocking your parent's world.

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Miss Piggy's and Kermit's romance most likely defined how your parent's learned to love. Your parents may be questioning their own relationship right now, and it's up to you to ground them in reality.

I recognize, that as a child, you probably have no idea how to help your parents. I googled some stuff I thought might help you. A friendly reminder that I am not a therapist, just a guy that knows how to use Google.

Good luck...

1. Let Your Parents Know You Are There For Them
It's important to sit your parents down and let them know that even though they are feeling pain, that they are surrounded by love. Things are going to be different, but they are also going to be exactly the same. Remind them of the pain they felt when Dr. Greene died on ER and how sad they were. Then remind them that they had forgotten about it until you just brought it up.

2. Know What You Want To Say
Before you talk to your parents go to Youtube and watch a few clips from the old Muppet Show. This should give you enough baseline nostalgia to fake empathy during the tough times of the talk. If, at anytime, you feel you are losing control of the conversation just say, "Oh, that Gonzo and his chickens." If that fails, mumble something in a Swedish accent and throw lettuce into the air. That always gets a laugh.

3. Keep It Simple
Let your parents know that even though Miss Piggy and Kermit are no longer a pair, that they will be fine. As a matter of fact, point out to them they have a new TV show coming out soon and most likely will reconcile by mid-season. This will give them hope.

4. Talk About Other Breakups
Remind them that sometimes breakups end up OK. Point out that Kim found love again with Kanye. If you need extra ammo to help Dad, mention that Arnold had so much free time he could become the Terminator again. Reinforcing the concept that pop culture finds a way to move on, will help them heal faster.

Probably the most important thing on the list is...

5. Assign No Blame
It's important to remind your parents that it's not their fault. Nothing they did could have prevented this from happening. Remind them that change happens and that together you will get through this.

Jeff Dwoskin is a professional comedian, avid tweeter, and co-founder of Hashtag Roundup

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