It's that time of year again. You survived resolution time only to fall into Valentine's season, the time of year when you count what you don't have: A husband, a lover, a significant other, a date or an adoring other to tell you you're beautiful, perfect and a dynamo in bed. What you do have are flashbacks to Junior High School when the popular girl next to you had a pile of Valentines on her desk while you only had one miserable one from your mother and another from your best friend, with whom you agreed to exchange cards so you wouldn't look completely pathetic.
As the author of The Matchmaker Series, I get questions all the time about finding love. Full disclosure: Yes, I'm single, but as the saying goes: the cobbler's children go without shoes, and these days, yes, I go without a soul mate. But I can tell you why you're single. There are seven reasons. Yours is somewhere in there, or maybe you can claim all of them.
- You're Ugly: What are you wearing right this second? Yoga pants? Pajamas? Flip-flops? Do you smell like peaches and cream, or has your cream coddled? Whatever it is, you've looked better. You've let yourself slide. Hey, I'm right there with you. Tired. Stressed. And we just want to be comfortable. But it's time to dress the part. Look your best, act your best. Play to the bleachers. Do you really think you will find your true love while you look more homeless than on the market? Sometimes, people need help in seeing the beauty in another. Sure, lipstick should not be the deal breaker in a relationship. Sure, the perfect man should be able to see the unique and exquisite beauty that is you without any artifice, but sometimes, you need to hold up a sign to let them know that you are hot, breathtaking and desirable. Help them along. Brush your hair.
And here's a last one. I didn't give it a number because it's more important than the rest. You're happy just as you are. Sometimes the singles have it all over the couples. Sometimes our happiness, our beauty, our youth and our love can be found within ourselves. No need to add a man. And just your luck, the minute you realize that, he will come knocking at your door.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
