When it comes to the topic of why we allow ourselves to get so deeply entrenched in our own B.S., I'm always reminded of that great Nirvana song, "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle" -- it's the one where Kurt Cobain wails: "I miss the comfort in being saaaaaaaad" over and over and over.
Oh Kurt. So well-put. So true. So pathetic.
It is so comfy to sink into that giant mashed potato pit of sucking and can't-ing and mediocrity and I'll just go ahead and blame my problems on all these very believable outside circumstances because it's way more scrunchy than standing up in the light.
Then we obliviously add to our own misery by thinking it's not only more comfortable to stay small and not stretch ourselves, it's also easier.
Meanwhile, what's easy about worrying about money all the time or feeling like you could be doing more with your life but aren't or wanting to give back but not being able to or watching all these idiots out there kicking butt while you know you could do it so much better meanwhile you're still buying toothpaste you don't even like because it's 10 cents cheaper than the stuff you do want?
You stay in your victim story because it allows you to be special, to not take responsibility, to avoid being made fun of/failing/getting hurt/being seen/being scared/facing the unknown...
This is your cue to say:
Yeah, well I've tried and...
I will, but...
You have no idea, my situation is impossible because...
Which is exactly why you're in a rut.
What you believe, even if it's subconsciously (especially if it's subconsciously), you will create more of.
Bravely going out into the world and trying, yet still deep down believing you're ruled by your past circumstances, is like forgiving someone but still hoping they sit in something wet.
You have to get over your story FOR REALS if you want to get out of your own way and get on with your life already.
So how the hell do you do that?
By getting into reality.
By really looking at all your excuses and admitting that you're full of crap.
Because trust me, you are.
Because trust me, I was (and most definitely will be again).
The good news about being full of crap is that once you're willing to admit that you're full of crap, you can de-crap yourself.
I will now steal an extremely effective method of doing so from The Work of a very wise woman named Byron Katie.
Let's say your broken record is: I've tried everything in my power to make money but still can't.
She would ask you 4 simple questions to get you into reality:
1. Is this true?
Hell yes! You have no frikken idea how true this is!
2. Can you be absolutely certain this is true?
Well, okay, maybe there are one or two things I could still try.
3. How do you react when you believe this is true?
I feel trapped and angry and stupid and mystified by how my idiot sister can rake it in but I can't.
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Someone who's happier, more relaxed, more open to opportunities, who isn't grouchy at family functions.
Then she asks you do to the turnaround, where you flip the meaning of the sentence to reflect the truth of the matter. Ex: I haven't tried everything in my power to make money.
If you're in a ditch and you're looking down, you can see where you're going but you can't see the way out.
If you're in a ditch and you look up, you may trip and stumble, but the way out is all around you.