It’s summer, school’s out, and the days are long. Lots of children get through the days with extra helpings of screens and tech. Children are tech-bound for up to eight hours a day, and teenagers more than 11 hours a day. The only activity they’re actually found to be spending more time on is sleeping! Summer is a fantastic opportunity to give your kid’s brains a break from screens, then keep it going.
Excessive use of screens can impact on children’s attention-spans. Video-games especially, can reinforce the notion of immediate gratification, reducing the amount of time children are willing to spend earning satisfaction from real-life endeavors, and learning. Too much screen time leads to a lack of real-world interaction, which can impact on mood, difficulties with behavior, impulse control problems, lack of self-confidence, and difficulties regulating relationships with others.
Screen time is certainly not evil, and it alone is not going to destroy your child’s life. It can actually be a great tool for enhancing your children’s interests. The internet is a great place for homework and project research, it can be a great way to get a first exposure to foreign cultures, and learn new things. There are some video games that can teach the body co-ordination and fine motor skills.
In a way, screen time is a bit like sugar – you can allow some, but you don’t want your children getting too high a dose. Your role is to recognize when they’re getting too much and to set rules that will restrict their screen-time diet, and here’s how to do it:
Set a good example.
Get off your own screens Mum and Dad. Do something fun and exciting and irresistible to catch your children’s interest. Take them outside for playtime (children should be getting at least 60 minutes of activity a day), get the whole family outside. If you’re getting bored of the same playground, venture out a little further, find your five favorites, and rotate them, take a picnic, tennis rackets, play dodge-ball, anything!
Be the parent.
You should model behavior that you want your children to follow. If your children constantly see you on your phone checking for Facebook updates, don’t expect them to behave any differently. In most homes where children are overusing screens so are their parents, monitor the amount of time you are on screens and make sure you are setting a good example.
Don’t do what others do.
Remember you’re the one in charge of your child, not other parents, and certainly not other children. If your child’s best friend is allowed to watch clips of horrific real world violence this does not in any way mean you’re obliged to allow your child to do the same. You set the rules for your home and what is or isn’t appropriate without measuring yourself against others.
Set screen-time limits.
Many parents struggle with setting clear boundaries on screen time. Having time limits can really help, not only you, but it also helps children learn and respond to limit-setting which is an essential life skill. I’d suggest having some alternative activities in mind though unless you want to hear sighs for hours on end. It may be helpful to have a conversation with your children, to let them know there will soon be rules about screens, meaning they will get less time, tell them why excessive screen time is not good for them. Involve your children in conversation and in making decisions, negotiating with them appropriately can help get their cooperation. Also, get them to brainstorm alternative activities they’d like to try.
Have screen free time periods.
Set up scheduled time every day when no screens are to be used (including parents), this might be after school until bedtime, or in the mornings, or from dinner for two hours. Allowing more screen time at weekends shouldn’t mean a free reign, instead let your children know exactly how long they have, maybe split it into two sessions over the course of the day, then get them doing something else, and pre-plan the other activities.
Study time means study time.
When they’re online doing school work that’s all they should be doing. So no other screens should be allowed. Organize their work area so you are nearby and can see what is going on. To be able to learn effectively from doing homework, children need to be able to focus on it. They can’t focus very well if they are clicking back and forth from homework to Snapchat to homework to Facebook. Nor can they focus if they are distracted by the TV, so whether it’s them watching, or you, turn it off until the homework is done. You could turn homework time into quiet family time where everyone does a quiet activity, so no one feels like they are missing out.
Keep the computer in an open area.
This will help you monitor your children’s social media behavior. Having the computer in the main room will also make sure that your kids are sleeping at night instead of sneaking in more screen-time (no TVs in the bedrooms!). If they are old enough to have phones of their own, ask them leave their phones on the dining room table at the cut off time you have agreed.
Turn off background screens.
Don’t leave TVs etc. on in the background at dinner time or when you want your children to focus on something else, it can be deadly for study-time concentration. A flickering screen will always be a distraction, even if the sound is down and at the other side of the room. If your children get used to growing up with the noise or distraction of a TV that is on all the time, they will be more likely to grow up developing similar habits. If your children have been watching TV, when the program is over, turn the TV off and encourage other activities.
No screens at meal time.
Turn your TV off, and put aside all tablets and phones during dinner, that includes your own phones Mum and Dad. Getting your kids to talk has a host of benefits, research has repeatedly shown that families who have dinner and conversation together regularly are closer, more engaged in each other’s lives, and have better relationships. Help your children learn to listen, read body language, how to hold a conversation, let them vent their problems to you (giving you the opportunity to be the one to help solve these problems instead of the internet). Get your children talking by asking interesting questions like these:
If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
Imagine you had a time machine, where would you go, and what would you do?
Say three most interesting things about you/your family?
Say three things that make you feel really happy?
What do you want to be when you grow up? Why?
What would your ideal day be like, if you could have it exactly your way?
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