Okay, I admit it. I am totally off the wall. Have you ever struggled with attaining some major milestone for months – heck, years - and suddenly you arrive at the finish line? That’s how I felt just a few days ago when my book went live on Amazon.
What does that mean? Now, a reader can actually read my book in its entirety!!! It exists. It takes up physical space. Not just in my imagination. Not just in Microsoft Office Word on my computer. Not just in my editor’s inbox. Not just in boxes at the publicist’s office. It is real. Anyone with access to a computer, iPhone or iPad can view it.
Am I starry eyed? Teary? Numb? So very happy? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Broke out the bubbly. Danced around the family room couch. Hugged my husband hard. Immediately texted my mom, siblings, sons and daughters-in-law that the longed for, momentous occasion had come to pass. YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the end of the beginning. Finally.
What’s publishing like these days? Chaotic. Exhausting. Tumultuous. Ever-changing. Fraught with despair, delight, self-doubt and exhilaration. Depending on the moment. Sometimes all at the same time.
And going public with a very touchy subject was a whole new experience in itself.
Does this resonate with you?
Have you ever equated your self-worth with the needle on the scale?
And the further north it climbed, the worse you felt?
Have you ever fell off the dieting wagon again and again and again?
And vowed it would be different tomorrow?
Have you ever berated yourself for eating the first, second or even third piece of chocolate cake?
Agonized over another pair of too tight jeans?
Just knew your life would be better if you lost ten pounds?
I experienced all these uncomfortable feelings, but I took it a step farther. I found a way both to outsmart the scale and eat all those fattening goodies – the dangerous foods – whenever I wanted – as much as I wanted. The title of my book is The Secret Life of a Weight-Obsessed Woman: Wisdom to Live the Life You Crave. And what did I keep secret? how I “outsmarted” the scale: BULIMIA – THE BINGE AND PURGE SYNDROME.
Why is my experience important?
One simple reason: eating disorders are rampant in our world. What we know for certain is that tens of thousands of men and women are struggling with anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating. And you or somebody you love may be caught in the lair of an eating disordered pattern.
Food is a central part of our culture – holiday, rituals and festivals are intertwined with food and lavish meals. And we also can’t ignore the tremendous pressure in today’s world to be thin – to sport the perfect body. This can easily become an obsessive preoccupation - not just among adolescent girls, but women of all ages. I can heartily attest to the fact that most women I know have had a friend or family member who has struggles with some sort of eating issue or disorder or struggles themselves.
Brooklyn based psychologist Esther Altmann states that anorexia and bulimia are amongst the most emotionally and physically devastating disorders affecting young Jewish women. And it’s not just Jewish women who suffer with this debilitating mental health condition. It’s women of all ages and nationalities and religions. The LGBT community. Every social-economic group. Every profession.
The Secret Life of a Weight-obsessed Woman, a memoir, is my honest and personal account of what it's like to suffer from and live with an eating disorder. But at heart, my book is a story most everyone can relate to – it’s about living with an addiction, a bad habit, a self-destructive pattern of behavior, a negative mind-set - anything that prevents you from living life fully, living with joy and purpose and vigor.
I’m not a rabbi, a licensed professional therapist, or a nutritionist. I’m a fellow sufferer who writes about my love affair with ED (eating disorder) for forty-six years and what I have learned during my journey back to health and wellness. We all struggle. The only shame is if our pride or fear holds us back from reaching out for help What do I wish for each of you? That you Preserve Your Bloom through self-care so that you can live the life you crave in 2018.
#weight #eatingdisorders #books #memoirs #bulimia #happiness
Iris speaks on life-enhancing subjects. Contact her at irisruthpastor@gmail.com. Sign up for her weekly newsletter at irisruthpastor.com. Follow Iris on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.