THE BLOG

How to Make Jealousy Work for You

You know who she is.

She's got it all. She's expressed and free...

Making beaucoup bucks, changing lives one by one and she looks gorgeous on Instagram with her damn green juice while doing it.

It appears that she knows exactly what she wants, she's crystal clear about her place in this world. Who she is, why she's here, but every time you get a glimpse of what's up next for her you feel deflated and find yourself seething inside.

I've been there and it's an awful, uncomfortable feeling.

It made me feel small and it sucked every last bit of inspiration out of my being.

I began to feel lost, like I no longer knew what I wanted. What I thought was the right thing seemed far away, fuzzy and grey. The fierce passion and motivation that was propelling me forward dried up and fizzled out in less time than it takes for a quick scroll through my newsfeed.

No bones about it, it was a clear cut case of jealousy.

But what if there was a way to make jealousy work for you?

Recently I was working with a client who was feeling irritable toward a friend. She decided that she didn't like this friend as much as she thought. There was something about her that didn't "feel right" and it was rubbing her the wrong way.

They both worked for the same company and hung in the same circles. My client is preparing to leave that job shortly to pursue a new chapter in the healing arts. Said friend is already IN the healing arts.

Said friend was starting to get recognition for the work she was doing and she was offered a chance to lead a workshop on the topic of my clients expertise.

Instead of feeling happy for her, this got under my client's skin. When I asked why it was because said friend didn't have the "formal" training my client was about to receive and she didn't agree with her approach and frankly she felt she wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree.

Could these statements be true?

Of course, but regardless, my client was jealous.

She was jealous that this girl was given an opportunity that she would have loved to have. She was jealous that this girl was out there already doing what my client so desperately wanted to do.

It may be in a different way, but the bottom line was that said friend had what my client wanted and it was eating her up inside.

But jealousy always has a message for you.

It shows you what you wish was true for you and it highlights where you're not living up to your potential.

That can be painful to recognize at first, but if you let yourself go there, it will show you what you're capable of and bring you more CLARITY around what you do really want. Being clear on what you want makes it a LOT easier for you and the U to create it.

In my clients case, it was a message telling her, yes, you're making the right decision to leave your career and pursue this new one.

It was reinforcing how valuable her work is, what's possible for her and it confirmed that she was moving toward the work that she was meant to do in the world.

Message received.

There is something else that jealousy is telling you too.

Jealousy is a "lack" emotion.

It makes the world feel smaller, like there's not enough. It creates a sense of urgency, not because you're passionate and have something to say or lives to change, but because it feels like someone will beat you to it.

That'll repel the abundance I know you want and deserve.

If I become aware that I'm feeling jealous, I remember that my reality is a mirror.

I first look for the message that's being reflected back to me and then I make sure I reinforce the belief that there is plenty for everyone and that someone else's success does not take away from my own.

In the case of my client, the people that are being helped by said friend may need to hear something from her, in her way, through her experience. Just as there will be people who need to hear it from my client, in her way, through her experience.

And there will be some who need or want to hear it from both of them and many others.

There is plenty of room for everyone and as long as you're staying true to you, you never have to worry.

Okay, your turn.

How have you handled jealousy in your own life and what did you learn from your experience?
Would love to hear your tips and tricks for flipping your perception in the comments below!