How to Make New Girl Friends

I don't think it's difficult to guess that moving to New York City is not for the faint of heart. When I first made the transition a little over three years ago, my main focus was on the perils of having to secure a job and a place to live. But once I got settled in, I realized another important aspect of moving to a new city.

I had no friends. None. Zero. Zilch.

But thanks to the things I'm about to discuss below, I'm happy to report that I did in fact make friends; lifelong ones, for that matter. I'll be honest -- it wasn't the easiest thing in the world. But when it hit me that I didn't know a single person in this city, I toughened up and realized that I had to take action if I truly wanted to make new friends.

These tips are ones that I believe can be used to make new girl friends no matter where you live. They are specifically geared toward women, but with some minor tweaks can be applicable to guys too!


1) Join some sort of group.

This is one of the easiest ways to meet like-minded people who probably want to make friends as well. Some ideas:

* a church/church group
* volunteer somewhere
* fitness classes
* other hobby classes (cooking, sewing, etc.)
* networking events in your industry

2) Tag along with someone who has a big social circle.

I'm not saying to be a leech, but chances are that someone who has a large circle of friends will be more than willing to let you in. Be honest with them -- say you're looking to make new friends, and would love to join on the next group hangout.

3) Start off with a compliment.

The most awkward part of making a new girl friend is just starting a conversation with them. I've found that simply complimenting other girls is the easiest way to break the ice and find a common thing for you to chat about. Not to mention I think girls should make it more of a point to compliment one another, but we'll save that for another post.

4) Organize a girls' night.

This is something I've learned from my best friend Jessi. From the moment I met her, she was the type of person that always created fun opportunities. Start a group text or email chain with a group of girls, and figure out a date that you can all go out to dinner, or have a night in of baking and pedicures. Most girls love these opportunities, so why not be the one who organizes them?

5) Always give the benefit of the doubt.

Don't be that girl who assumes all other girls are b*tches. Sure, there are some bad seeds out there, but I like to believe that most girls are nice if you give them the chance. For some reason, girls have been wired to automatically not like other girls (what is UP with that?), and I suggest going against that mentality as much as possible.

Practically speaking, giving a girl a compliment (as mentioned above) is actually a great way to gauge whether she's friend-material or not. For example, if her response to "I love your shoes!" is "I know, right??" then... well, eh.

6) Utilize social media.

I've met some amazing girls through social media and blogging -- including my best friend Monica. Millions of people are finding dates online these days, so why not use the Internet to find friends? If it feels too weird for you, start by "friending" or following someone who you have mutual friends with. And... it's 2014, so get over thinking it's weird!

7) You have to take the initiative.

I think that this is what it all boils down to. When it comes to making new friends... it's a mindset that you just have to have. Stop hoping that someone will notice you sitting all alone and reach out to you. I've tried that before, and it rarely works. Sorry I'm not sorry for the tough love, but the truth is that YOU are the one responsible when it comes to making new friends. So put yourself out there, will ya?


Which of these do you agree with most? Disagree?
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