I’ve seen a surge of conversation in my Women in Wellness Club recently around the topic of sex. It could have something to do with the professional Dominatrix who became a member (wink). But even before she joined us, we were already talking about Mama Gena’s book, Pussy, and women reclaiming their sexual feistiness as a means to enjoy their life more.
I mentioned this to an OBGYN friend yesterday, and he said, “Women are at their most sexual and intellectual age 40-55.” That’s a powerful statement! And since many of the women in my community fall into this age range, it only follows that we are having smart, sexy conversations!
As someone who is obsessed with women and entrepreneurship, I can’t help but draw some parallels between sex and business. Here are 4 patterns that I see.
1. Baring it All
If you try to hide in entrepreneurship, you’ll be as successful as trying to have sex in a space suit. You gotta get naked. You need to bare it all. You have to reveal your fatal flaws so others can connect, embrace, and trust the journey you’ve been on. That’s the path of authentic, conscious business. That’s the way that we build rapport and bring our best self to our work. I’ve been told recently that I find “really creative ways” to hide in my business – sharing a little but not too much, holding back and conforming to others, not owning my voice, my story, my message – it’s so hard to get naked in public, but it’s so worth it when my tribe responds with love and appreciation. I’m the best entrepreneur I can be when I take off all the external layers and let you be intimate with me – let you see who I really am. We worry that baring it all means revealing our weaknesses, but the raw naked truth is beautiful! This is how you shine.
2. One is fun, Two is better, Three’s a Party
I spent years playing with myself (pun intended), before I found partners, mentors, and peers that could play with me. The path of the solopreneur is so lonely and arduous. You can do business – just like you can have sex – by yourself, but if you want to make a living, breathing thing, then you need to work with others. There’s a popular phrase that says: “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think it takes a village to raise a business. Your intimate relationships, the ones that matter in the bedroom and the boardroom, are gonna drive you crazy for sure. They are going to push your buttons, challenge and frustrate you, make you wish you lived on a deserted island. But they will also teach you critical lessons about how to ask for what you want and need, how to set clear, healthy boundaries and how to make something that matters in the world. I need the people around me to support me, keep me accountable and keep the good times rolling.
3. Pleasure vs Pain
Sex can be pleasurable or painful – so can entrepreneurship. One of my mentors says that we make our business so much harder than it needs to be by forcing ourselves to do things that we’re not good at or creating systems and structures that bind, instead of free us. I want my business to feel good! And sometimes that means being a bad girl. What would a bad girl do? She would put pleasure at the center of her life, her work, her relationships. She would free herself of thoughts of unworthiness, duty and insecurity. She would be a bright badass shining light and unwavering in her self-love. In a culture that values submission, conformity and people-pleasing, a woman who pleasures herself, is a bad woman. She’s a revolutionary! But revolutionaries make the best entrepreneurs. If you're pleasuring everyone else first- especially at the expense of your own business- you're a servant, a slave, a puppet. This is our one wild and precious life, to feel good, to find joy, to be free – and to do the work of our dreams.
4. Variety is the Spice of Life
Dare I say that you should be creative in business and in bed? If you get into a boring routine, if you do the same thing over and over, if you make little effort to be seductive or creative, then your business – and your sex life – will be dead in the water. Come on, people! Live a little! What could you do today to WOW a client? What juicy topic could you write about or speak about that would get you – and your audience – majorly turned on? If your mind is blank, maybe you need to fall in love again with your ‘why.’ Maybe you need to fall in love again with your clients. Both business and sex are better when you’re in love. When I’m uninspired in my work, when I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, I go out dancing, travel to a new place or indulge in a great book. What adventure could you have today that would put the spice back in your life? Do that! Your soul – and your business – will thank you for it.
It’s such an exciting time to be an entrepreneur – there is so much opportunity surrounding us at all times. Discover that rhythm which makes your body feel alive and orgasmic – and stay there for as long as you can. Share the best of you with the people around you and don’t hold anything back.
Got thoughts about this topic? Message me at email@example.com.