How does a mother recover from the abandonment of an adult child when a piece of her life is missing?
While there is not a single mother-child relationship that is free of conflict, a mother never anticipates her child abandoning her. Aside from the three abuses, sexual, emotional and physical, how can anyone permanently abandon their mother? It appears to be an unthinkable act for the mother who feels as if she has been a positive role model for her child. Among other things, she raises them to be loving, kind, forgiving and respectful.
The mother must first experience the mourning stage.
She is sad, questions why, feels shame, tells no one and is filled with anger towards her child for leaving her out of family events such as birthdays, anniversaries and weddings. She feels discarded from the family, never expecting her adult child to walk out of her life.
She writes notes, sends loving gifts and waits, hoping for a response. When notes go unanswered and gifts are returned, she finally realizes the unthinkable has happened. She is an abandoned mother.
She cries, does not sleep at night and experiences a range of emotions from sadness to rage to disappointment, as the unthinkable loss includes her grands and other family members, as well.
HOW TO COME TO TERMS AND FIND HAPPINESS AGAIN?
Realize you are a good person. You have figured out your estranged adult child is troubled.
You most likely have other adult children, and I suggest you telling them to refrain from discussing this with their brother or sister.
Focus on the positive relationships you have outside of your family that are joyful, loving and interesting. Positivity is fruitful to your emotional and physical health.
I know I say it often, but remind yourself to be grateful. It promotes physical and emotional well-being. An example of gratitude: my husband washed and gassed up my car. I am so grateful.
Forgive your estranged child if he or she comes to you. It is hard, but forgiveness is so beneficial. Your life will be more satisfying.
Accept the reality and your inability to change the situation. Dwelling on your sadness is futile. Acceptance will take all of your determination, but remember you have other adult children and grands to love and share your life with. Put your energy to positive use. You can live your life in a way that is fulfilling and meaningful.
Lastly, dear readers of mine, be filled with hope for a future reconciliation.