How to Own Your Magnificence & Change the World.

I have a small confession.

I do something silly when I sign up for email lists. When I fill out the user information, I generally sign up as “Kate the Magnificent”, because it makes me smile when I receive emails that way (and I’m sure it gives the list owner a smile as well).

But it isn’t out of arrogance, or cockiness, that I claim this magnificence. Magnificence is, after all, the quality of making all light larger, not just reflecting our own.

We’ve all read that quote from Marianne Williamson about our greatest fear not being inadequacy, but of being powerful. I’ll see that, and raise you one:

We are afraid that if we step into our own power, we’ll have to give something up.

If I shine too bright, people might think I’m not “nice”. If I’m too bold, I might be criticized. If I receive too much, someone else might not have enough. If I am magnificent, I might overshadow others.

I have news for you, loves: more light = more light. If I shine, I make it safe for you to shine. If you shine, you inspire someone else to do the same. Your magnificence doesn’t take away from anyone else—we can magnify each other.

And this is how we do it:

1. Begin within. What you want to see outside yourself, create within yourself. Want more peace on earth? Deal with the shit show of chaos going on in your own heart, first.

2. Eliminate language that diminishes. You are not “just” anything. You are not “just” your job. You are not “just” your income. You are not “just” your gender, your body, your age, or any other limit that your mind can conceive of. We are all connected in this great big sphere, and you are limitless.

3. Shine a light on subtle bigotry. When someone tells a joke or uses words that divide or subjugate, shine a light on it. Ask what they mean. Light the way to reveal the root cause (which is almost always fear).

4. Stop participating in the discourse that requires you to take up less space in the world. You know, the diet industry. Be faster, be healthier, be stronger, be sexier, be more comfortable in your skin. Not one of those things comes at a specific number. Being smaller is not a goal that serves your highest and best good.

5. Ask for what you actually want. Not what you think you should want. Not what feels appropriate or what you think you’ll be able to get. Ask for what you want in your heart and desire all the way down to your toes.

6. Say fewer things, and make them significant. The Internet is a wonderful and terrible place, and we’re bombarded by far more of other people’s thoughts and opinions than is useful for anyone. When you release your words out into the world, choose the ones that matter.

7. Choose love over fear as the motivation for your actions. Love is never weakness. Choosing love over fear doesn’t mean we become doormats, or that we put ourselves last. Where fear curtails and cuts us short, love magnifies.

If we paused at the beginning of each day, before each choice, and whenever we speak and actively chose to act from love, we could step into a magnificence we’ve never seen before, and begin to truly change the world.

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.