What Happens When A Vegan Marries a Carnivore?

I recently met a truly fabulous couple who, like anyone planning to be married, share many common interests but one area they definitely disagree is diet.
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I recently met a truly fabulous couple who, like anyone planning to be married, share many common interests but one area they definitely disagree is diet. As a vegan myself, I was overjoyed to learn the bride is also vegan and wants to infuse the menu for their reception with many animal-free options. The groom on the other hand enjoys eating everything from roasted pork to juicy hamburgers so I'm excited about this dilemma. It should be interesting! The challenge is balancing the percentage of delicious, inventive vegan options with the non-vegan items. Unfortunately, not every caterer or chef out there is well versed in creating satisfying, unique and delicious vegan food so be prepared to do some research.

The second layer and perhaps the more important one in this challenge is making sure the couple feels as if the menu truly represents both of their visions. Your wedding day should be filled with personal touches and details that truly make it your own. If you don't want animal products featured or you prefer local, seasonal fruits and vegetables remember these are the details that truly say so much about who you are as individuals and as a couple. I have worked with vegan and vegetarian couples and the challenge was not finding common ground as a couple but rather with their families and friends. They received some (not so friendly) comments from family members who thought it would be totally insane to invite 200 guests to a wedding and serve no meat or dairy on the menu. I was very proud of my clients for staying true to their vision for the event. Just brace yourself for the endless stream of commentary! You will need to stay strong and focused. Getting outraged will get you nowhere when planning a wedding!

This all opens the door to many challenges and questions so here are a few things to keep in mind as you navigate the dietary battle with your fiancé. First, consider who's paying for the wedding. If your parents are paying for everything you need to sit down before making plans and decisions to express your own concerns regarding food and the overall direction of the event. You can't always win some of these battles when the funds are coming from somewhere other than your own bank account.

Next, if both of you aren't either vegan or vegetarian you need to find the perfect balance to create a menu that truly represents each of you as individuals. Perhaps the main course is vegan rather than the traditional & expected meat dish. The appetizer and/or salad courses can be a place to get creative and offer non-vegan options. You can also consider a "family style" menu so there are many vegan and non-vegan dishes displayed on each table for guests to make their own choices. Work with the caterer or chef to create dishes that are complete and satisfying for vegans and non-vegans. Finally, remember to do your research when choosing a caterer or venue. Not everyone will have experience with creating a delicious & inventive vegan menu. Also, you need to share information on what it actually means to be vegan. I meet people everyday that still think you might have a dish with butter or eat fish for lunch if you are vegan so ask the right questions and inform everyone involved!

You will have to balance many expectations and opinions along the way so be prepared to compromise. Marriage is, after all, about learning to compromise. I'm not suggesting you cave in and let go of your own moral compass or demands but be prepared to face the facts. You might need to find a way to fund the wedding on your own if you aren't willing to compromise or accommodate other requests or demands that aren't in line with your own vision for the menu. Good luck as you dive into the culinary challenges of your wedding day. Don't lose site of the true magic of the day, which comes from sharing your commitment as a couple with the people you love.

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