How To Potty Train Your Two Year Old

How To Potty Train Your Two Year Old
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Reader Potty Problems writes,

I was wondering because you always give such awesome advice if you had any suggestions for potty training. My son is almost 2 and 4 months old. We haven't started yet and honestly it is giving me some anxiety. I did get him a little potty and when I have tried to put him on it he immediately wants to get off. Just wondering if you had any suggestions. I definitely don't want to make this a traumatic situation for either one of us.

Dear PP,

You're a first time mom so I see why you would ask me this. As a first time mom, I had my oldest pooping on the potty by 9 months. Potty training was a lot different before the advent of diapers that keep kids completely dry and therefore unperturbed by their own pee and poop. It's also different in other countries. You can read the fact that over 50% of kids around the world are toilet trained before 12 months here.

Anyway, here's how my potty training went: oldest: trained through the night by 2 years, middle, trained by the night by 2.5 years, youngest 3.5 and he's still not trained through the night. Do you notice a trend, or rather a steep dropoff in whether I GAF (as the youth of today abbreviate)? Your son will not need diapers in college, or highschool, or middle school, or even elementary school, so whether or not you potty train him and when is all up to you and how irritating you find it to change diapers. (If you get pregnant with #2 anytime soon, your sense of smell gets way more sensitive so you may quickly get a lot more hellbent on training him; been there done that and I got pregnant when my oldest was 9 months so that explains my early initiative, plus I met a European mom that trained her kid early and it was trés enlightening).

Here are some methods that take too much time and energy: sticker charts, rewards, potty videos, potty apps, and buying a special potty (use a potty seat instead). Alternately, here is something that worked for me:

Me: We're going to the doctor next week.

My youngest: Why we go to doctor?

Me: For your three year checkup-- I mean, to tell her that you're potty trained.

My youngest: Potty?

Me: Yeah, once you turn three we have to tell her that you're trained.

That moment of inspiration changed a 2 year 11 month old with zero interest in the potty, who in fact said "NO POTTY, NO" to a 2 year 11 month old who started to go potty immediately because he thought it was something factual that had to be accomplished and then reported. I do not vouch for whether this method can be replicated but it's worth a shot. (Note that I didn't tell him anything good or bad would happen either way though. Don't ever punish or threaten a kid for not going potty, or for anything that is body-related.) Incidentally, he still had some accidents after that, which my girls never had. I think either boys aren't as good at potty training, or waiting that long to train made him less aware of the internal cues when it's time to go, or, alternative, maybe he still wasn't ready. See how nothing with parenting is 100% clear? It's all a crapshoot, no pun intended.

Anyway, the upshot is, if you don't particularly mind changing diapers, then let your son decide when he wants to potty train and for the love of all that is holy, get a potty seat and a stepstool for him because you deal with enough crap as it is (ha) without choosing to transfer feces from one container to another multiple times per day. (Except that you do need a travel potty for your car, and I love this one.) If you really mind the smell of poop, then you can, being an energetic first time mom, take off your kid's diaper and pants completely and let him roam free, encouraging him to go to the bathroom every half hour. Then you can give him a jellybean every time he pees or poops. But note that method may also lead to pee and poop on your furniture and floor for a couple of days, and for some kids, it won't work anyhow. So back to my initial suggestion of just chillaxing and following his lead.

Best of luck and till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, Five Years From Now You Won't Even Remember What Age He Was Potty Trained.

This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Learn about Dr. Rodman’s private practice, including therapy, coaching, and consultation, here. Order her books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage, and How To Talk To Your Kids About Your Divorce, here. This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot