How to Prevent Revenge Porn

For those who, like me, had no idea what "revenge porn" was, let me briefly explain it. Revenge porn is, essentially, a hateful form of harassment or payback. It consists of sexually explicit photographs which men (it's almost always men) post on the Internet to humiliate a former wife or girlfriend. Unless I'm missing something, that's it in a nutshell.

Understandably, having sexually explicit material made public can come close to ruining a woman's life. We can only imagine the humiliation of having family, friends, employers, and co-workers see this salacious material. Indeed, if it were viewed by the wrong people, it could torpedo her chances of being admitted to a prestigious college or being hired by a discerning company.

In truth, I could never understand why a guy would need nude pictures of his wife or girlfriend, unless he suffered from some form of serial amnesia. If you're having regular, unrestrained, mutually satisfying sex with this woman, why would you need a pictorial record of it? It's like a person who lives next door to the Grand Canyon. Visiting tourists are naturally going to want to take photographs, but why would you need them?

Speaking for myself, I've never taken a photograph of a naked woman, and due to my unfortunate physique and near-pathological modesty have never had a nude photo taken of me. Arguably, circulating a nude photo of me would serve more as a low-level form of avoidance torture (think of casual "waterboarding") than erotic stimulus.

Moreover, unless she and I were both drunk or stoned or attending a political convention, I can't even imagine how I would go about asking a woman to pose nude. "Hey, I have an idea, Sally. Since we share so many common interests, and because I have my camera handy, why don't you strip down and let me take photographs of you?" That seems as crass as suddenly asking her to lend you money.

In any event, given how serious a problem revenge porn has become (some states have actually passed laws against it), here's a sure-fire tip on how to avoid becoming a victim. It is based on the assumption that "Just say No" is, for whatever reasons, not going to be an option.

Make it a rule to always wear a mask. It's as simple as that. If you don't have a mask, place a paper bag over your head. If you don't have a bag, use a pillowcase. Tell your husband or boyfriend that wanting to wear a mask derives from an inherent sense of feminine modesty. Or tell them you're just naturally an over-cautious person. Tell them you're a Calvinist.

Because most men are single-mindedly swinish and hormonal when it comes to sex, if you allow them to photograph the "good parts," they won't object to your face being covered. Obviously, they are going to prefer that you not wear a mask, and may even whine and sulk about it, but believe me, it won't be a deal breaker.