How to Revise Your Picture Book

How to Revise Your Picture Book
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I never thought that when my daughter, Ruby, graduated from kindergarten, it would be just the beginning of a lesson on how to revise a picture book. Ruby graduated, and I invited her teacher, Mrs. Sugarman, as a way to say thank you. She brought her two children, who were somewhere around eight and ten years old at the time. My two were six and eight or thereabouts. Needless to say, it was a very noisy table. Mrs. Sugarman and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and frankly, I’d have been surprised if the kids could hear anything either.

Something had to be done. Just to get them quiet–and because they could all relate in one way or another–I threw out the question, “What would be a good title for a book about kindergarten?” By that time, I had published a few picture books with what was then Harcourt, Inc. (now Houghton Mifflin Harcourt), and in the back of my mind, always wanted to write “a kindergarten book” but never had any ideas. So the question just bubbled up.

Well, it got everyone so excited it was even noiser! All the kids hollered their answers at once, and over the din I heard Mrs. Sugarman’s daughter yell, “When good kindergarten teachers go bad!” (Yes, we died laughing.)

Ruby, with her teacher sitting there at the table, raised her hand, so she was called on next.

How to Get an Idea for a Picture Book

“Kindergarten rocks!” Ruby said, smiling at her beloved teacher.

The moment Ruby finished speaking I knew instantly I’d write about a boy entering kindergarten who was full of bravado but actually very scared about this new venture.

The second everyone left, I plopped down with my laptop. Dishes?–what dishes? I was all fired up and ready to write!

And then I got stuck. (There is a happy ending to this, so keep reading.)

Why’d I get stuck? It just wasn’t enough to be interesting. I also had a lot to figure out. When would the story start? The first day? The week before school began? If that were the case, how would he learn that kindergarten actually does rock? After all, he has to experience it to learn that, but he has to get over his fear in order to come to that conclusion. So how will he do that? See? Stuck.

All Writers Revise

All these questions had to be answered. It’s a process, often a slow one, that occurs through revision, which is why one of my very favorite things is to see how other writer’s books develop. It’s a window into a creative brain. I was lucky enough to peek into the way Matt de la Peña’s brain works at the annual online picture book conference I co-founded called Picture Book Summit last year. He shared early versions of his Newbery-award winning picture book, Last Stop on Market Street.

Now, I’m no Matt de la Peña, but at least the following will give you an idea of my own revision process and hopefully help as you revise your work.

Question Everything About Your Early Drafts

Right from the first page of this kindergarten manuscript, things needed to change. It started out:

Know Your Reader

Kids who are going into kindergarten are pretty inaccurate when it comes to timing. I thought I had his “voice” down, but “next year” was too far away for him to feel any impending doom in order to be nervous, so the first spread ended up like this:

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

After I realized next year was too long, I thought about what else Dexter wouldn’t know. How would he find out the answers? I needed a Sherpa, someone to guide him along this scary journey.

I know! A big sister! At first she was really nice, and comforting to Dexter.

Boooooooring. Not only that, but I don’t know any big sib who’s nice all the time.

I decided to make her a little more realistic–she helps her brother, but gently teases.

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

The spread above is also the perfect example of how to teach something without giving a lecture (a big no-no). Whether it’s okay to teach a lesson is a common issue–and one we’ve addressed for almost 50 years in our courses at the Institute of Children’s Literature–but when a child picks up a picture book, it’s not to learn a lesson or be lectured to. They don’t want to be told what to think; children want to make discoveries on their own. So how can you slip that stuff in there and make it not only palatable, but deliciously edible?

I could have had Jessie tell Dexter, “Everyone in kindergarten is worried about the same things you are. It’s normal to be a little nervous.” But that would’ve been heavy-handed and Dexter would not have learned it on his own, or in a way that made sense to him.

I thought about how so many children going into kindergarten have older siblings. They’re used to those sibs being bigger and more coordinated, and more talented at everything. They can’t imagine their older siblings as kindergartners, they don’t think of them as small, or pre-readers, or even fearful. They think of them as bigger, all-knowing, and powerful. The only thing this scene needed to “teach” was a little true-to-life, matter-of-fact big sister observation: “I was a shrimp, like you.”

For dozens of revisions, Dexter hammered Jessie with questions about his kindergarten worries, all of which were real-kid fears I discovered doing research:

· What’s the bus like?

· What if I miss my family?

· What if I get lost?

· What if I have to go #2?

· What if the other kids can read?

· What if I get a boo boo?

· How far away is your classroom?

· What if I forget the rules?

But none of the ways he was asking was working. The scene needed to move the story forward, solidify their relationship (rather than be just him bugging his sister), as well as foreshadow the conflict that was to come. Finally, I remembered an old tantrum trick we used to use when our children were little. The written word is powerful, and writing things down while they were upset made them feel heard, and often they were able to move on. So I after decided Jessie needed to be helping Dexter instead of being nagged by him, it ended up like this:

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

The rest of that early draft had Dexter going to school reluctantly on the first day, shyly meeting his teacher (named after Mrs. Sugarman, of course), and slowly uncovering all the rockin’ things about kindergarten.

Then he goes home. The end.

Nope. It was still too slight. Something else had to happen.

Add Tension (yes, even in picture books)

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

Enter Rufus.

Dexter’s “lovey,” his stuffed dog Rufus, would be the embodiment of Dexter’s fears. It would be Rufus who was scared (as you can see in the example where Jessie is writing down what “Rufus” is scared of), so Dexter could be full of all that bravado I had imagined the night years–yes, years–before when Mrs. Sugarman had come for dinner. Then something could happen to poor Rufus to give us some badly needed tension!

Rufus was always there when Dex needed him most, to blame for his fears, and to give a hug when he was scared entering school for the first time on the first day. Now it was time to put Rufus in harm’s way to lather up some conflict. (Don’t worry, Rufus ends up safe and sound.)

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

from the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, by Katie Davis

Dex had been leaning on Rufus, but when Dexter is having such a great time in kindergarten that first day, he forgets about him (showing that kindergarten rocks and he actually doesn’t need Rufus). When he realized Rufus was lost, Dexter forgot his fears in order to find his stuffed pal.

Revising is what builds layers. It allows you to create depth. It gives you time to find the hidden treasures that didn’t even exist before you gave it that time to grow.

The happy ending is that all those revisions got a one note idea unstuck, and turned it into a manuscript. That manuscript became the picture book, Kindergarten Rocks!, which was published by Harcourt, Inc. in 2005 and is still calming pre-kindergarten nerves–all these years later.

How to Get Help on Your Revisions

If you have a great critique group, that’s a good place to start–every writer needs objective feedback. You can also go to conferences. It’s important to make sure the events you attend are the best of the best and are specific to what you’re writing. Ask other writers if they’ve attended, read reviews, both good and bad, and go to any free events the conference might put on. The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators hosts gigantic annual conferences in Los Angeles and New York. I’m a member, have spoken at, and attended many of their conferences and they’re very good. If you don’t want to travel, (or pay the extra travel expenses like hotel, childcare, airfare, etc.), yet still get professional information from the top agents, editors, and writers in the business, Picture Book Summit is perfect for you, since it’s online. (As mentioned above, I’m a co-founder of Picture Book Summit, but there are objective reviews online you’re free to read.) The free mini-summit that the Picture Book Summit team hosts on Aug 22nd, for example, is a value-packed, educational event that will cost you nothing, but could help you with your picture book writing. What better way to learn to how revise your picture book without ever having to leave your comfy writing spot?

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