As a CEO with a Type A personality, I have experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly that comes with having an ambitious mindset. Like other Type A’s, I sometimes struggle with channeling that drive and determination in a way that doesn’t come across as demanding, impatient, and aggressive. Yes, being a leader demands the fortitude to hold people accountable, but it also requires other qualities. Qualities that not only help build profit margins, but that also build strong, mutually respectful relationships.
Throughout my career, I’ve enrolled in a variety of professional development training programs. But it wasn’t until recently that I discovered one that tapped into how to “harness” elements of my Type A personality and more gracefully weave them into my role as a leader.
A Horse Of A Different Color: Equine-Guided Therapy
Gaby Fabian, a senior staff member at Medicine Horse Ranch in Tomales, California, offers a number of equine-guided therapy programs geared toward teens and adults. Earlier this year, I attended her retreat for Type A female executives, which used equine-guided therapy to help professional women become better leaders.
During the retreat, horse “guides” helped us Type A’s tap into how to quiet our overwhelming urge to control everything all the time. The exercises and interactions with the horses helped me and the other women in the program take a closer look at ourselves through the intuitive and nonjudgmental eyes of a sentient being.
Framed to focus on the four agreements Don Miguel Ruiz’s 1997 book advises embracing to squelch self-limiting beliefs, the retreat gave me pause to think more clearly about who I am, what I stand for, and how I react to the people around me.
Here’s what I learned relative to each of the transformational four agreements:
- Be impeccable with your word. We should all strive to do what we say and genuinely believe in what we’re doing. I learned that we can be more effective leaders by ensuring our inner emotions are in line with our actions. I found I personally needed to work on this. During the retreat, the horse I was paired with wasn’t initially interested in greeting me because I was trying too hard; I wasn’t authentically me. As soon as I relaxed and felt wholly in the moment, the dynamic with the horse changed dramatically for the better.
- Don’t take anything personally. When our group went to the observation area to view all of the horses playing together, I found myself getting upset and frustrated that my horse was greeting some of my colleagues rather than me. I took it to heart at first, thinking the horse didn’t like me. But I Iearned that it wasn’t about me, or due to anything that I did wrong. The horse simply needed its space and some time away to engage and interact with others. This made me realize that people also sometimes need some room to disconnect. It’s nothing personal—it’s simply human nature.
- Don’t make assumptions—ask questions. During the retreat, at least in the beginning, I was guilty of drawing my own conclusions about the horse’s behavior. These assumptions were often dead wrong. I found that by asking my human coach questions, I gained the insight necessary to understand what the horse was communicating through its actions. As a leader, I think we sometimes feel like we know (or should know) all the answers. But we don’t. We need to ask our team questions and learn about what motivates them, frustrates them, brings them job satisfaction, and so on.
- Always do your best. I believe this is one agreement that I’ve had a good mastery of before, and the retreat helped reinforce its importance. By consciously giving my full focus and energy to the program, I feel I received optimal value from it. Whenever you give 100 percent of yourself to an endeavor, you make it worth your while and show respect for others’ time.
Ride On!
I’m still in awe of how my experiences with the horses during that retreat have shaped my outlook as a leader. If you ever have an opportunity to take part in an equine-guided development program, I encourage you to jump at the chance. And even without the help of a horse guide, you can strengthen your capacity to lead with a greater sense of self-awareness and compassion by keeping the four agreements in mind on a daily basis.