"To cover all the earth with sheets of hide--where could such amounts of skin be found? But simply wrap some leather round your feet, and it's as if the whole earth had been covered! Likewise, we can never take and turn aside the outer course of things. But simply discipline your mind, and what is there remaining to be curbed?"
-- Shantideva
Are You A Victim Or A Player?
The victim pays attention only to those factors he cannot influence. He sees himself at the mercy of external circumstances. The victim keeps his self-esteem by claiming innocence. His explanations never include him, since he has nothing to do with the problem. He never acknowledges any contribution to the current situation. When things go wrong, the victim seeks to place blame. He points his finger at other people's mistakes. For him, problems always come from other people's actions.
The player focuses her attention on those factors she can influence. She sees herself as somebody who can respond to external circumstances--even though she can't choose those circumstances. She finds her self-esteem in doing her best. Her explanations focus on her, since she realizes that she is an important contributor to the problem. When things go wrong, the player seeks to understand what she can do to correct them.
The victim knows the way to innocence. "If you want to look good," he thinks, "you can't be seen as part of the problem. You have to blame external circumstances over which you have no control." The player knows the way to power. "If you want to be part of the solution," she thinks, "you have to see yourself as part of the problem."
The player understands that results are a consequence of the interplay between a certain challenge and her ability to respond to it. If the challenge is greater than her capacity to respond, the result will be negative, a failure. If her capacity to respond is greater than the challenge, the result will be positive, a success. Thus she can increase her chances of success by increasing your response-ability.
In this video you will learn how to own your choices and claim your personal power through responsibility.
Readers: Where do you see an opportunity to take more of a player stance in your work and your personal life?
Further Reading: The Mental Shift That Can Change Everything
You can Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here
Fred Kofman, Ph.D. in Economics, is Vice President at Linkedin. This post is part 2.1. of Linkedin's Conscious Business Program. You can find the introduction and structure of this program here. To stay connected and get updates join our LinkedIn Group: Conscious Business Friends
You can Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here