Seeking clarity in 2015?
Psssst. There's a part of you that's not confused, or conflicted, or unsure. There's a part of you that knows who you want to be and what you want to do, and you can access it. So, grab a journal and join me on a little adventure to meet your inner child and discover the vision that was within you all along.
Title the page "who the world wants me to be" in your favorite handwriting. Write or draw any words or images that pop up into mind, even if they seem unrelated. Now, to give your creativity something to grab onto, Write a few words for the significant relationships in your life, past or present.
Use the following list for inspiration:
- Who does your family want you to be? Your mom? You dad? Your siblings?
- Who does your significant other want you to be?
- Who do your children want you to be?
- Your best friends?
- Your grandmother? Your grandfather?
- Your boss? Your coworkers?
- Who did your elementary school teachers want you to be? The middle school bully? Your frenemies from high school? Your first boyfriend?
Write down anything that pops up in your head -- this isn't a test, and you don't have to share it with anyone. Stick with any answers that feel heavy. If it strikes a cord in you; if it makes you feel vengeful or sad or guilty: congratulations! You're onto something. Keep writing. The more emotion you bring up, the better, because that means you're bringing up the stories that you've carried for far too long, and they're ready to be healed.
Beautiful. Now, darling, to really dive deep, pick one relationship to focus on. Pick whichever one resonates with you right now. Pick the one that feels biggest and scariest, or pick the one that you look at and say "ah-ha, I've really been tripping on that one lately."
Re-read what you wrote, noticing how your body reacts. Does your breathing change? Does any tightness come up? We're just noticing, there's no right or wrong here. When you connect your thoughts to your body's level of comfort, you identify inner conflicts, where your true self doesn't agree with what you're believing about yourself.
Now, step outside yourself for a moment. How old did you feel when you heard who you should be? Are you 4? 13? 32? Again, there's no right or wrong.
Take the younger you by the hand, and ask her, "who do you want to be?" You can have fun playing around with this. The first, odd-sounding thing that pops into your head? Write it down. Questioning it? Start a dialogue with the child. Ask, "Why did you say that?" and let her respond. Try not to dictate to your hand, just write what flows. You can even try writing with your non-dominant hand to get out of your head and into the experience.
You're on the right track if your answers seem simplistic, childish, or outlandish; those are all signs that there's a part in you that isn't getting heard, and you're allowing it to express itself now. If you get stuck, just keep coming back to the main question: "Who do you want to be?"
Whatever you learn, whoever little-you asks to be, listen. Be humble, and know that the "you" that you identify as yourself has a lot to learn from your inner child. Your inner child is wise, and good, and brave, and just wants to be heard and cared for.
Once you see where you're shape-shifting to satisfy your ideas about other peoples' desires, you get the awareness that your reality is made up of choices that you are making, not someone else. The beautiful, liberating news is that you are free to choose again.
Today, I challenge you to come up with at least three actions you can take in 2015 to embody these desires from a younger you. What would little-you just love to experience?
P.S. The world doesn't want you to be anything. Really. Somewhere along the line, many of us were fed a story about expectations and obligations and requirements. It's a bunch of hooey. You define who you want to be. You define who you become. You set your expectations. You teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. When you shift how you show up in the world to be in alignment with what all parts of you want, magic happens. People see you for who you are. Your barriers fall away. Things become soft and easy, and flow again; this time, on your terms.