How Trying to Become a Mother Led Me to a More Mindful Life!

Mindfulness has been a buzzy word lately. For me, living mindfully is about being awake.
05/19/2014 11:02am ET | Updated July 19, 2014
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I always knew I wanted to be a mother. At the age of 39, this became crystal clear. I had a new husband and we wanted a family, so we started "trying." Infertility treatments soon filled my days and left me completely off balance in body and mind. After months of attempts with "reproductive technology," I woke up one morning and said "no more."

It was a creative, expansive moment in which I listened deeply to my soul.

From that point on I chose practical action toward adopting my children. It was a choice in living body mind and soul and brought me into alignment with my true desire, body, mind and soul.

What the heck am I talking about?

Mindfulness has been a buzzy word lately. For me, living mindfully is about being awake.

As a psychologist, mother, yogi, businesswoman and person on a spiritual journey (and not necessarily in that order), I like to say that body-mind-soul living is a way of experiencing and balancing each moment with awareness and choice.

Being healthy and well requires steering our precious energy with care. We must learn to be mindful as each moment unfolds. When the body and mind are aligned and integrated, the soul has more possibility of creating, directing and leading where we'd like to go. Toward our "core," our truth, toward unimaginable possibilities.

It may sound like I am regurgitating this from some mindfulness self-help book, but, I promise you I am speaking from the heart. I have proof; through all those times of disconnection, I had a guide; all I needed to do was be quiet and listen.

Back then...

I had lived "mind-lessly." When I studied Tai Chi in California in the early 80s, I completely focused on my body. When I was working on my doctorate in clinical psychology, I was focused on my mind, and perhaps less so on my body. Although one could argue that my focus was on the "mindful," I would say that my disconnect felt "mind-less," leading to much imbalance and by extension, unhappiness.

I knew that my unhappiness was calling for a change. When all the familiar "outer changes" didn't work (a relationship, a geographic move), I looked inward. The way mindfulness led me out of my unhappiness at first seemed "counter-intuitive." Instead of running away from my negative habits, problems and fears, I actually turned toward them, moment by moment.

This inner attention way my key. My way "out" was my way in...

Instead of solving my problems in theory, my problems began to resolve. I found a quiet space from within and allowed new answers to find me.

When we align and live mindfully, magic happens:

· Moments begin to unfold... I went this way and not that.
· I found this teacher or relationship and left that one....
· Things begin to resolve one way or another and we see clearly

What did I have to do? Listen... Listen.

Fortunately our souls are always daring and prompting us to allow their guidance. It only takes awareness, trust, and patience to find our true way.

Body-mind-soul living is creative. Instead of living my life with restrictions and a closet full of inaccessible and unattainable desires, I chose practical action, and now I feel joy in the full range of being human in your body mind and soul every day.

Today, I have two beautiful daughters who came to me when I opened through mindfulness to new possibility and realigned myself -- in body, mind and soul!