Will we be good winners? Will we be good losers?

How we react to disappointment is where character shows up.
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Going forward, we need to practice some growth mindset—we need to “walk the Camp Fire talk” with our youth.

Going forward, we need to practice some growth mindset—we need to “walk the Camp Fire talk” with our youth.

Like most of you, I was in front of the TV Tuesday night watching election results. Some of us were with friends; others at watch parties; others alone with their hopes, and fears. And some of us watched with our kids. No matter how engaged or disengaged our kids were, they were watching, they were listening, they were learning. Not learning from the pundits on TV—learning from us.

The election is behind us; our future’s ahead. And whatever any of us thinks about the process, the candidates, the tactics, or the results, the election is over. Now, we’re all asking what’s next. Some with glee at the outcome and some with despair or disbelief. So each of us has to figure out how to step up—how best to participate in this extraordinary, hard fought, hard won, messy process we call our democracy. Within an organizing principle we proudly call citizenship.

Clearly some of our next-step actions will be damage control. Or at least assessing what damage we—I’m using a collective “we” ascribed to adult behavior—may have inflicted through our words and actions. As we’ve been emoting over the past few months, our kids have been observing how adults react, interact, and share complex information and personal opinions. Have we been civil? Have we modeled a willingness to listen, learn, and understand? Have we modeled kindness and respect for the opinions of others? Will we be good winners? Will we be good losers? Particularly if “good” is meant to symbolize our intent to come together as friends, families, communities, and a country deeply divided by this election cycle.

The thing is, these past few months have been hard. They haven’t felt good. There's been so much obstructionism and vitriol spewed in the name of “politicking.” But somebody has to be the bigger person in all this. That’s us. Complaining at this point will only serve to tear down the tentative first steps we must now take to rebuild and, hopefully, reunify our national will and purpose.

Going forward, we need to practice some growth mindset—we need to “walk the Camp Fire talk” with our youth. We must talk about all this with our kids. What did we learn about the election process that could help our nation the next time around? What if the majority of our nation simply didn’t believe what we believed, or want what we wanted? Does that make them bad?

We need to talk with young people about our reactions in an honest, open, and age-appropriate way. They watched us for months. They heard what we said. We can’t suddenly now say “well everything will be okay.” They won’t buy that. Or, if they do, they’ll wonder if we really meant what we said in the weeks and months leading up to election day. They’re pretty observant. They don’t miss much. And, they’ve formed opinions of their own.

We have some tough questions to answer. And our answers had better be good ones. We have a generation to prepare to ask their own questions. Because how we react to disappointment is where character shows up. It’s how we learn and grow. It’s where we reach above our previous high-water mark to a new height.

Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

So today, two days after the election, let’s consider our experiences, our souls, and our vision. And then let us move forward, inspired to be even better and do even better. Our youth deserve it. They’re counting on us.

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