POLITICS

HUFFPOST HILL - Sanders Finally Raises Enough Money For A Comb

The conventional wisdom says Hillary Clinton won last night's debate, but that's only because Lincoln Chafee had some personal stuff going on and it was his first debate ever. Some pundits are saying Joe Biden won the Democratic debate by not being there, just like how the Washington Nationals won the 2015 World Series. And John Boehner may fall on his sword once more, heroically doing the bare minimum to prevent the Republic from utter collapse. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Wednesday, October 14th, 2015:

CLINTON CAMP ALSO TIRED OF BIDEN SPECULATION - Make up your cotton-picking mind, Uncle Joe. Sam Stein: "The effort to move Biden’s hand is driven by the campaign’s confidence that Clinton did yeoman’s work Tuesday in re-establishing her standing among Democratic donors and party officials who were nervous about the trajectory of her candidacy. The campaign also feels that strong debate performances by both Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D) helped 'fill out' the primary campaign, as one Clinton ally put it." [HuffPost]

@margarettalev: We tried: Biden declines to say when he'll decide on a 2016 run but says of Dems in debate was "proud of them all"

VOTERS POWERLESS AGAINST BERNIE'S RAW SEXUAL CHARISMA - Americans threw the digital equivalent of crumpled ones at Bernie Sanders last night. Alana Horowtiz Satlin: "Sanders raised over $1.4 million from the start of the debate until about 3 a.m. eastern, his campaign said. According to his campaign, they received at least 44,000 individual donations, with the average contribution being $31.54. [HuffPost]

POOR LINCOLN CHAFEE - Mollie Reilly: "Presidential candidate and former Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chafee struggled to explain during Tuesday's Democratic debate why he voted in favor of deregulating big banks in 1999. CNN host and debate moderator Anderson Cooper asked Chafee how he could press Hillary Clinton on Wall Street when he voted for a bill repealing the Glass-Steagall Act, a landmark financial regulation bill that separated the banking industry from the securities industry. 'Glass-Steagall was my very first vote,' Chafee said. 'I'd just arrived, my dad had died in office.'" That is very unfortunate, but gosh, what a bad answer. We're sorry, Lincoln.

Here is a video with more of last night's awkward moments.

SANDERS RIGHT: AMERICA HELL - The good people at Politifact decided to investigate his claim that the United States is the only developed country without a paid maternity leave law and the results will amaze you. "On average across OECD countries, mothers are entitled to 17 weeks of paid maternity leave. However, the United States is the only country to offer no statutory entitlement to paid leave on a national basis." [Politifact]

OH YEAH WELL HILLARY SUCKS SO THERE - The Republican presidential candidates have offered their sober appraisals of their Democratic counterparts' performances. Alan Rappeport: "Republican presidential candidates watched Tuesday night’s Democratic debate from afar, and the general consensus was that Hillary Rodham Clinton got off too easy." [NYT]

Here are some apps you can use to make your smartphone more terrible.

JOHN BOEHNER WANTS TO PUT OUT FIRE BEFORE NEW TENANT MOVES IN - Jake Sherman and Anna Palmer: "House Speaker John Boehner is looking to move a bill to lift the debt ceiling before he leaves Congress, a tactic aimed at helping his successor, according to multiple sources with knowledge of internal party planning. Timing has not been decided, but the Treasury Department says the nation's borrowing limit needs to be raised by Nov. 5, and Boehner (R-Ohio) would like to resolve the issue before a new speaker is sworn in." [Politico]

RUBIO BEMOANS HIGH PRICE OF BOOTSTRAPS - Americans can't live off $12 an hour, and the only solution is lower taxes for Americans who make $12 a second. Igor Bobic: "While in the Senate, Rubio has voted multiple times against legislation that would have increased the minimum wage -- including a measure that called for vaulting the minimum wage to $10.10 by 2016. He argues that raising the minimum wage would lead to "higher prices and less employment,” and that a better way to create jobs would be to lower business taxes." [HuffPost]

AMERICA'S ANGRY UNCLES GET RESULTS - Congressional offices are more responsive to the lunatics who ruin your Facebook News Feed than to other people, according to some study. Laura Barron-Lopez: "If you're trying to get a message to your representatives in Congress, your best bet may be to use Twitter or Facebook, according to a report released Wednesday by the Congressional Management Foundation." [HuffPost]

Haircuts: Sara Bondioli, Jessica Estepa, Adriana Usero.

Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here. Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to huffposthill@huffingtonpost.com. Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHill

BEN CARSON PENS CLASSIC NON-APOLOGY - He sure is sorry if you're upset that Jews let Hitler kill them. Ben Carson: "In recent days I suggested that things might have unfolded in a very different manner in Europe had the Jewish people been armed and better able to defend themselves. What would have been the impact on Hitler’s war machine if his victims had had more access to guns? It is something that we will never know for sure. What I do know however, beyond any shadow of a doubt, is that I never intended for my words to diminish the enormity of the tragedy or in any way to cause any pain for Holocaust survivors or their families." [JPost.com]

As Nick Baumann points out, the words "apologize" and "sorry" are missing from Carson's piece.

SANDERS SAVES REPORTER - That's Democratic Socialist Chivalrist. Hunter Walker: "After leaving the debate stage on Tuesday evening, Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., helped shield MSNBC anchor Andrea Mitchell from a crush of cameramen that nearly knocked her down as they sought to get him on video." [Yahoo]

How much longer can Rand Paul's dignity hold up?

TED CRUZ HAS A MODERATE RESPONSE TO 'BLACK LIVES MATTER' - Just kidding!. Of course he doesn't. Kira Lerner: "At a campaign stop in rural Iowa on Wednesday, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz told ThinkProgress that activists with the Black Lives Matter movement -- people who have been peacefully protesting the murder of black men and women by law enforcement -- are 'literally suggesting and embracing and celebrating the murder of police officers.'" Also, it's all Obama's fault. [ThinkProgress]

REPUBLICANS RESPONDING WELL TO RACE-BAITING PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: POLL - You're wondering which one, aren't you? It's Trump, this time. Jennifer Agiesta: "Donald Trump holds double-digit leads over Ben Carson in both South Carolina and Nevada, the third and fourth states scheduled to hold nominating contests in next year's race for the presidency, with Trump widely seen in each state as the best candidate to handle a range of top issues, according to new CNN/ORC polls." [CNN]

GOP voters are convinced Trump has the best shot at winning the White House. What if they're right?

CONGRESS IS SO BAD, YOU ALMOST WANT TO ROOT FOR THE LOBBYISTS - We are through the looking glass. Catherine Ho: "What pro-business lobbyists got instead from the Congress they helped elect: persistent and contentious fighting between the congressional leadership and a small band of hard-line conservatives in both chambers over issues Republicans have typically backed. The GOP-controlled Congress let lapse the Export-Import Bank charter, has repeatedly fought raising the debt ceiling and this year punted the passing of the annual highway bill to fund the nation’s infrastructure. It has repeatedly threatened to shut down the government over issues like Obamacare and Planned Parenthood, with House conservatives and Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) following through in 2013." [WaPo]

WHAT ABOUT (THAT) BENGHAZI (MOVIE)??!1 America deserves THE TRUTH about "Pearl Harbor," Michael Bay! Michael Cieply and Amy Chozick: "Set for release by Paramount Pictures on Jan. 15, Mr. Bay’s film -- called '13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi' -- will land just two weeks before party caucuses in Iowa. For audiences across the country, it recalls the most controversial episode of Mrs. Clinton’s tenure as secretary of state, and one her campaign aides have been trying to put behind them, just before the most critical contest in the Democratic presidential contest." The question is: will audiences stand down? [NYT]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Please enjoy these award-winning nature photos.

PROSTITUTION APPARENTLY NOT A PRESIDENTIAL TOPIC - You tried, Niels Lesniewski. You tried. "Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid caused quite a stir a few years back when he called for the elimination of legal prostitution in Nevada, but it seems presidential candidates won’t touch the issue. We asked a handful of presidential campaigns to weigh in on the issue of the legality of brothels in the Silver State’s more rural counties. While one spokesman was brave enough to say he did not know his candidate’s position on the issue, none of the others contacted in our initial survey saw fit to respond." [Roll Call]

COMFORT FOOD

- This video of the Jersey Devil is not to be missed (and no, it's not just Martin Brodeur in a costume).

- Samurai slices fastball.

- Pretty pictures of microbiology.

TWITTERAMA

@kristoncapps: These take headlines -- "Yes, Hillary Won the Debate," "Yes, Bernie Defeated Hillary" -- all making me feel like a ignoramus. So condescending

@elisefoley: Nothing fills me with as much shame as that automatically-created “Selfies” folder in my iPhone albums.

@jamisonfoser: 11 of first 14 paragraphs of Politico PLAYBOOK are about implications of last night’s debate for Joe Biden, who wasn’t there & isn’t running

Got something to add? Send tips/quotes/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to Eliot Nelson (eliot@huffingtonpost.com) or Arthur Delaney (arthur@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter @HuffPostHill (twitter.com/HuffPostHill). Sign up here: http://huff.to/an2k2e

CONVERSATIONS