HUFFPOST HILL - Clinton Baby's Jupiter Is In Retrograde, But Can She Lead?

Politico asked astrologers what the future holds for Chelsea Clinton's baby but didn't crank the trolling up to 11 by having Bank of America sponsor the feature. Roland Burris was implicated in a shakedown scheme while serving as Illinois' senator, something he'll probably choose to leave off his crypt. And the White House fence jumper made his way deeper into the executive mansion than previously reported. As far as White House access goes, his falls somewhere between "White House Press Corps" and "Secretary of the Interior." This is HUFFPOST HILL for Monday, September 29th, 2014:

WHITE HOUSE INSISTS IT WASN'T PASSING BUCK ON ISIS - We disagree. This mission has suffered all kinds of culpability creep. The Hill: "President Obama wasn’t passing the buck by saying intelligence officials underestimated the threat from the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the White House said Monday. Press secretary Josh Earnest said officials were aware of the threat posed by ISIS, but misjudged the will of the Iraqi military to fight back and how successful the terror group would be at capturing territory. He said 'everybody' — from the intelligence community to the White House — made the same mistake, but that Obama was ultimately responsible. 'The president’s commander in chief and he’s the one who takes responsibility for ensuring that we have the kinds of policies in place that are required to protect our interests around the globe,' Earnest said. Reporters grilled Earnest about Obama’s remarks Sunday on '60 Minutes,' where he at one point said Jim Clapper, the director of national intelligence, has acknowledged misreading 'what had been taking place in Syria' with regards to ISIS." [The Hill]

Boehner delegating his "hell no you can't!"-ing to his staff: "Speaker John A. Boehner’s spokesman ripped White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest’s remarks today tying Boehner’s position on defeating ISIS to President George W. Bush’s Iraq policy. 'Trying, for political purposes, to link Speaker Boehner’s position on destroying ISIL with former President Bush’s Iraq policy and splitting hairs where they don’t exist is, frankly, stupid,' said Boehner spokesman Michael Steel. 'That’s no way to build bipartisan support for a real strategy to keep America safe. Everyone understands that ruling out options in advance shows weakness to our enemies.'" [Roll Call]

Boehner spokesman Michael Steel putting on his best O RLY? face (Image via Roll Call).

FENCE JUMPER GOT FARTHER INTO WHITE HOUSE THAN PREVIOUSLY REPORTED - Don't you miss the days when the most unsettling thing about the Secret Service was the way it had fun in Colombia? WaPo: "The man who jumped the White House fence this month and sprinted through the front door made it much farther into the building than previously known, overpowering one Secret Service officer and running through much of the main floor, according to three people familiar with the incident. An alarm box near the front entrance of the White House designed to alert guards to an intruder had been muted at what officers believed was a request of the usher’s office, said a Secret Service official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. The female officer posted inside the front door appeared to be delayed in learning that the intruder, Omar Gonzalez, was about to burst through. Officers are trained that, upon learning of an intruder on the grounds, often through the alarm boxes posted around the property, they must immediately lock the front door." [WaPo]

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SENATE LEGEND ROLAND BURRIS IMPLICATED IN SHAKEDOWN SCHEME WHILE IN OFFICE - What's next, corruption charges against Carte Goodwin? How many of our Senate lions must tarnish their good names? Chicago Sun Times: "Former U.S. Sen. Roland Burris tried to 'shake down' a business for a $250,000 a year job as a financial consultant in return for Burris’ help promoting the business’ products to the U.S. military, court documents in a trial due to start next week allege. The explosive allegations emerged Friday at a hearing ahead of the trial of South Sider C. Gregory Turner, who is accused of illegally trying to help lift U.S. sanctions against Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s regime. Burris is expected to be a key prosecution witness against Turner...Defense attorney James Tunick said documents provided to him by the government on Thursday allege Burris, 77, was still in office when he 'offered to promote an individual business to the United States military in exchange for $250,000 a year when he got out of office.'" [Sun Times]

GREEN GROUPS SPENDING GREEN - Kate Sheppard: "[Billionaire investor Tom Steyer's super PAC] NextGen Climate Action first emerged as a significant electoral player in the 2013 Virginia governor's race, spending $8 million to keep Republican Ken Cuccinelli out of the state's top office. The group also spent more than $1 million last year to elect Massachusetts Democrat Ed Markey to the U.S. Senate. This year the super PAC is going bigger -- much bigger. As of its last filing with the Federal Election Commission, the group had spent $30.5 million in the 2014 electoral cycle, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. Of that, $11.5 million has gone to independent expenditures, almost all of that for attacks on Republican candidates. (NextGen Climate Action has an affiliated 501(c)(4) nonprofit, but the group says all its 2014 electoral work has been done through the super PAC.)" [HuffPost]

MARK UDALL IS NOT A 9-11 TRUTHER - Even money says the person who provided Business Insider with this audio was Ashley Todd. "In 2007, Sen. Mark Udall (D-Colorado), who was then a congressman, was being pursued by a group of anti-war activists and so-called 9/11 truthers. The protests against Udall included a large group going to a town hall meeting where activists peppered Udall with questions...On Monday, a conservative tipster sent Business Insider a 23 second excerpt of the 2007 footage where Udall can be heard saying, "There's some evidence that there were charges planted in the buildings.'...Looking at the quote in context, it is clear Udall was paraphrasing some of the claims referred to by members of the audience as they shouted at him when he made the comment that led the activists to claim he was agreeing with some of their ideas and appears to have attracted the attention of conservatives." [Business Insider]

NOW ASK THEM ABOUT NEW YORK'S HUGE SODA BAN - Ariel Edwards-Levy and Emily Swanson: "Americans, who largely support airstrikes against the Islamic State, don't think that the military campaign will have much of an impact on their lives, according to a HuffPost/YouGov poll released Monday. Just 24 percent of respondents predicted that they will be affected a great deal or a fair amount by the airstrikes in Iraq and Syria, while 60 percent said the strikes will have not much or no effect on their lives. It may not be surprising that Americans feel unconnected to a remote conflict that has, thus far, been fought only from the air. But this phenomenon is not limited to the current air campaign:" [HuffPost]

Previously, in American foreign policy misadventures: "Blame it on 'guano mania.' A craze for natural fertilizer made from bird droppings spurred the U.S. to take possession of a group of remote Pacific islands in the 19th century, and now those islands are home to the world's largest marine reserve." [National Geographic]

GRANDE MOCHA [REDACTED]: THE CIA'S STARBUCKS IS STRANGE - We can neither confirm nor deny whether you'd like that croissant warmed up. WaPo: "The new supervisor thought his idea was innocent enough. He wanted the baristas to write the names of customers on their cups to speed up lines and ease confusion, just like other Starbucks do around the world. But these aren’t just any customers. They are regulars at the CIA Starbucks. 'They could use the alias ‘Polly-O string cheese’ for all I care,' said a food services supervisor at the Central Intelligence Agency, asking that his identity remain unpublished for security reasons. 'But giving any name at all was making people — you know, the undercover agents — feel very uncomfortable. It just didn’t work for this location.'" [WaPo]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's a four-year-old who can't really get the hang of nursery rhymes

BEHOLD THE 'CITIZEN KANE' OF POLITICO SELF-PARODY - Politico: "Leading astrologers say that Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky is destined for a future working on social justice and will enjoy a strong relationship with her proud grandparents, Hillary and Bill. After Chelsea Clinton and Mark Mezvinsky’s daughter was born at 7:03 pm at Lenox Hill Hospital on Manhattan’s Upper East Side on Friday, POLITICO asked astrologers to weigh in on what is written in the stars for the former first daughter’s first daughter....John Marchesella, the Education Director for the astrology organization the National Council for Geocosmic Research, predicted that her political endeavors would be focused in economics." [Politico]


- Dog regrets eating all that cheese.

- Armor was surprisingly nimble in the 15th century.

- "She keeps saying 'I know David Guetta' in a prideful way" -- an editor for "Modern Family" hilariously live-tweeted an airline passenger's mid-air breakdown

- A new study finds professional female characters are incredibly underrepresented in film.


@DavidKenner: A figure notably weak on defense. RT @BarakRavid: Netanyahu's speech at UNGA will include a reference to Derek Jeter

@timothypmurphy: So is there just…one Secret Service agent by the door, or…?

@CNNyourmom: Obama: We Misjudged Your Mom

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