HUFFPOST HILL - D.C. Metro Announces Last-Minute Metaphor For Our Failing Politics

Trump-inclined voters lurched America ever closer to some ponderous “Draft Scarborough” Medium posts that’ll crop up around June’s Aspen Ideas Festival. The DC metro will be entirely shut down tomorrow, and though the ghost trains will be running, they’ll be single tracking. And during a St. Patrick’s day event, President Obama called for a cessation of violence at Donald Trump’s rallies. When *St. Patrick's Day* revelers are calling for peace, you know things are bad. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Tuesday, March 15th, 2016:

DONALD TRUMP IS THE FLORIDA MAN CANDIDATE - Eliot, who's in the Sunshine State covering the primary, sends this dispatch: "There are a lot of reasons why Donald Trump is expected to triumph in Tuesday's Florida primary... But there's a very crucial one that shouldn't be overlooked: Trump is Florida Man … well, the candidate for that type of voter, at least. Just switch [Trump's] name for Florida Man and you'll see what we mean: Florida Man purchases a private jet and enjoys watching Jean Claude Van Damme's 'Bloodsport' while airborne. Florida Man attempts to sell meat in a high-end electronics store. Florida Man appears on 'WWE Raw,' and showers the audience with $100 bills. Florida Man makes inappropriate comments about the attractiveness of his daughter. Florida Man runs for president, refuses to take off his baseball hat, boasts about his penis and encourages violence and defends punching protesters." [HuffPost]

GUY WHO MISTREATS WOMEN MISTREATS WOMEN: REPORT - What happens when your intervention list becomes longer than your bucket list? Ken Vogel, Ben Schreckinger and Hadas Gold: "Donald Trump’s staff and advisers have expressed concerns about campaign manager Corey Lewandowski’s quick temper and heavy-handed leadership, and some even planned a coup against him last month, sources involved in the discussions told POLITICO...But some of his most fiery clashes came with a female official who ran one of the states under Lewandowski’s control. The relationship -- and patience for Lewandowski within AFP -- reached a tipping point in October 2013. On the sidelines of a meeting of the group’s board in Manhattan, Lewandowski loudly berated the employee for challenging his authority, getting in her personal space and calling her a 'c---' in front of a group of AFP employees, including some senior officials, according to three sources who either witnessed the exchange or dealt with its aftermath." [Politico]

CHILL, BRO: OBAMA - President tries to step in between constituencies that are currently shirtless and asking if each other wants to go. Igor Bobic "President Barack Obama stepped up his call for civility in the increasingly coarse 2016 presidential race, which has in recent weeks been marked by violence and racist language, saying that candidates were setting a bad example for children and tarnishing America's standing around the world. 'We have heard vulgar and divisive rhetoric aimed at women and minorities, at Americans who don't look like us or pray like us or vote like we do. We've seen misguided attempts to shut down that speech,' Obama said Tuesday during an annual St. Patrick's Day luncheon on Capitol Hill. 'However offensive it may be, we live in a country where free speech is one of the most important rights we hold. In response to those attempts, we've seen actual violence. And we've heard silence from too many of our leaders.'" [HuffPost]

The entire Metro will be shut down tomorrow, raising the question: do you really want to take it tonight? "The entire D.C. Metrorail system will be shut down Wednesday for an emergency investigation, Metro officials say. Metro needs to inspect as many as 1,200 jumper cables, General Manager Paul Wiedefeld announced at a news conference Tuesday afternoon, The U.S. Office of Personnel Management said Tuesday afternoon the agency is looking at how federal workers' schedules Wednesday may be affected by the shutdown. 'OPM will have guidance for agencies on the status of the federal government shortly,' a statement from OPM said. A cable fire early Monday caused delays on the Blue, Orange and Silver lines throughout the day." [NBC Washington]

Rep. John Delaney (D-Md.) is pissed: "For a long time Marylanders have been denied the safe, reliable and efficient Metro system that they deserve. It is deeply disturbing that the system is in such a precarious state that it must be entirely and abruptly shut down during the middle of a workweek."

(Arthur) DELANEY DOWNER - Nakiya Wakes came to Congress Tuesday looking for answers amid the ongoing political fallout over the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, that she said had a devastating effect on her life. "I ended up pregnant with twins and due to drinking the water, I lost my twins," Wakes, who moved to Flint before the crisis escalated in 2014, told The Huffington Post. "I got pregnant in Flint. Five weeks into the pregnancy I lost one baby. I thought it was only one. Then, I found out I was pregnant with twins. I lost my second twin, the first week in my second trimester." The stay-at-home mom had traveled to Washington, D.C., for a congressional hearing with top state and federal officials in charge when Flint's water became contaminated with lead, a deadly neurotoxin that can cause health problems including miscarriages, even in small doses. The three officials gathered before the House Oversight Committee Tuesday had a simple message: we didn't do it. [w/ HuffPost's Tyler Tynes]

DOUBLE DOWNER - The Environmental Protection Agency official who resigned in the wake of the Flint water crisis blamed "false allegations" for her downfall. In testimony before a congressional committee on Tuesday, Susan Hedman said stories in The Huffington Post and other outlets misrepresented her actions as the EPA administrator for the midwest region. "By the third week of January," she said in prepared remarks, "I was widely portrayed in the media as someone who 'sat on the sidelines during the crisis' and 'downplayed concerns raised by an EPA scientist about lead in the water.'" Well, that's exactly what she did. [HuffPost]

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? CONGRESS DOES - Elise Foley: Sometimes the grim, contentious world of politics needs a little magic, and this week Congress got some. Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Texas), with six Republican co-sponsors, introduced a resolution on Monday 'recognizing magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.' The resolution includes a long list of merits of magic, 'an art form with the unique power and potential to impact the lives of all people' that 'enables people to experience the impossible' and 'is used to inspire and bring wonder and happiness to others.' … Why would Sessions introduce such a resolution? It's a matter of constituent services, according to his office. Wylie, Texas, Mayor Eric Hogue, as written in the resolution, 'learned the art of magic as a child, continues to use those skills to teach elementary school students about the different roles and responsibilities of local government.'" [HuffPost]

MCCONNELL TELLS TRUMP TO MAYBE COOL IT WITH THE MOB JUSTICE - The Senate majority leader tries to get the you best go back from where you came *spit* candidate to chill. Ryan Grim and Christina Wilkie: "Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Tuesday that he spoke to Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump about his campaign, and encouraged the candidate to condemn the violence that has come to characterize Trump rallies. 'Donald Trump called this morning, and we had a good conversation,' McConnell told reporters on Capitol Hill. 'I took the opportunity to recommend to him that no matter who may be triggering these violent, uh, expressions or conflict that we've seen at some of these rallies, it might be a good idea to condemn that and discourage it, no matter what the source of it is.' In recent weeks, Trump has encouraged his supporters to rough up protesters at his rallies, and volunteered to pay the legal fees of those who are arrested for assaulting protesters. The top Republican in the Senate declined to say how Trump responded to his advice. But a McConnell aide said the senator's use of the word 'might' was merely a figure of speech, and that he firmly advised Trump to condemn the violence." [HuffPost]

HILLARY HAS A RAHM PROBLEM - And, no, she didn't broadcast the Chicago mayor's family vacation plans. Samantha Lachman: "The wealth of votes in the Chicago metropolitan area could be key to victory in the state's Tuesday primary. Early voting has already begun, and turnout is reportedly high in the city and surrounding Cook County. Over the last few years, Emanuel's handling of multiple shootings by city police and public school closures has raised local ire. A Chicago Tribune poll in January found that just 27 percent of voters approve of his job performance and that 4 in 10 Chicagoans want him to resign. He's even more unpopular among Latino and black voters in the city. The ties between the mayor and Clinton are long-standing. Emanuel, who endorsed Clinton before she had even announced her 2016 presidential bid, worked as a high-profile adviser to then-President Bill Clinton in the 1990s. He served as President Barack Obama's chief of staff while Hillary Clinton was secretary of state. But since November, Clinton has sought to distance herself from Emanuel following revelations that city officials worked to withhold dashcam footage that showed a police officer shooting Laquan McDonald 16 times as the teenager walked away. Officer Jason Van Dyke was charged with first-degree murder that same month." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's a surprised baboon.


- When life gives you lemons, start a fire

- A cougar being released into the wild.


@jbendery: Reporters swarm Sen. Stabenow as she tries to go to the bathroom. GOP aide shouts: "Come on guys. Dick move."

@Olivianuzzi: There are so many news trucks surrounding Mar a Lago that it looks like the scene outside Neverland after Michael Jackson died.

@delrayser: Well look on the bright side, at least we can still take the busahahahahahahahahaha nope sorry can't do it

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