Humans of New York’s posts are inspiring, thought-provoking and emotional.
Except for this recent one. This one is just plain infuriating.
The site posted a photo of a man Friday who is having a hard time in his relationship. The poor guy, whose lower half is all we see in the image, is truly distraught over his girlfriend’s weight.
“At first I told myself I could get past it,” the post reads. “I said, ‘Let’s just see how it goes.’ We had excellent dates. Everything else about her was exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin something good for that one little thing. But it’s been 1.5 years. And I feel horrible, but I can’t get past it. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it. I can’t bring myself to tell her. We’re going to couple’s therapy next week, but I still don’t think I’ll be able to say it. Is there any right way to ask someone to lose weight for you?”
Eye. Freaking. Roll. His lament, which reads as though we’re supposed to feel something like sympathy for him, essentially states that this woman, who has invested over a year’s time being in a relationship with him, has a body that is not worthy of his time or love.
The comments section showed that there were mixed reactions to his “dilemma,” with some expressing sympathy that he is not attracted to her because of her weight and some rightfully taking him to task for his utter lack of self-awareness.
Before you, like some of the commenters on the post, accuse us of glorifying obesity or attempt to educate us on the health risks of being overweight, take one large step back. For starters, we have no idea what this woman looks like, and even if we did, physical appearance is not an indicator of health. It is certainly not up to us ― or anyone but her doctor ― to make judgment calls about her health, either.
But that’s not even what this guy’s concern is about. His cowardly account doesn’t exhibit concern for health or well-being. On the contrary, it shows concern for himself and his inability to see past something superficial.
Being attracted to your partner is important, sure, but why waste over a year of someone’s life ― not to mention your own life ― being with someone who you are not attracted to? If physical appearance is still such an issue for this guy after being together this long -- science backs the notion that physical attraction can grow over time ― it sounds like there is a much bigger issue, either between the two of them or just with himself, at hand.
To quote Vic Tinder, one of the photo’s Facebook commenters, “the easiest weight she can lose is to drop your sorry dead weight ass.”
Here’s hoping she does that. And soon.
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