The Blog

Husband Material

Typically I write about wedding trends, things to consider when planning your wedding, and why hiring a wedding planner is the most awesome idea you will ever have.
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Typically I write about wedding trends, things to consider when planning your wedding, and why hiring a wedding planner is the most awesome idea you will ever have. This blog though is about the marriage part of the whole wedding thing -- because after the six months to three years of planning (yes, some couples take three years) you have the rest of your life to be married. This is why I consider the ceremony the most important part of the wedding, because it's when you declare that you will be with the person you love, forever. But if you're not married yet, or even engaged, I wonder what you're expecting of your husband.

You know what got me thinking about this? That "Dear Future Husband" song. I don't pay a lot of attention to pop music because I consider most of it fluff. I like lyrics -- correction, I like intelligent, well thought out lyrics. I'm a musical theatre geek and "Hit Me Baby One More Time" isn't exactly thought-provoking to me. But, this morning while working on a wedding timeline, it came on and I actually listened to it for the first time.

My thoughts? Wow. That future husband is getting a really bad deal. I mean, she flat out sings:
I never learned to cook, but I can write a hook.

Well OK then, isn't that helpful?

She continues to sing about how spectacular she is, demands a ring, and expects this future husband to agree with everything she says even when she's going crazy. But, no worries, she'll buy groceries. At least that's covered.

Are these the songs that inspire the women of today? Is this some sort of woman empowerment thing? The thought that we're so amazing that we can get away without cooking and going a little cray-cray, and we still deserve a ring? What happened to the two-way street?

Ladies, nothing against the singer of this song (I don't even know if she wrote the lyrics herself actually), but this should not be your anthem. I say this because I've watched some of my brides turn into this woman during the planning process and I feel that they've probably always been like that. Songs like this are saying that it's OK to be like that. And I'm here to tell you: It's not.

Sure, there are probably some of you thinking that I'm taking this too literally. It's just a song, it's funny, it's just a joke, LOL and all that. But I can tell you that I have met women that would live and die by these lyrics. They are not happy on their wedding day, they are stressed out about every little detail, and I often wonder where the love is, and if this is the marriage they are supposed to be in.

All I am saying is this: marriage is a partnership. It is supposed to be your partner, your teammate. You work together and you love together. You travel through life together, ups and downs, and you're always there to support one another. These are the words you will hear during your ceremony and this is what a wedding is truly about.

When you upset each other, apologize. When you hurt each other, apologize. When you go crazy, apologize. This isn't a high school romance, it is a serious forever together partnership. Make sure your future husband knows that.