I had so much faith.
I can see now that I had too much faith; too much hope in the people of this country.
During this whole election process, I kept thinking, how could a country that elected Obama twice, how could these thinking, thoughtful people ever elect a person like Trump?
I didn’t, for a minute think he would actually win. I didn’t allow my mind to go there . I kept saying the media is just blowing it out of proportion, there’s not really that many people at his rallies, his followers are just a small minority of this huge country.
Too late, I realized how wrong I was ― how terribly, horribly wrong I was. The realization was so painful ― the country I thought I lived in was false, the people I share this American experience with actually voted against everything that I love about my country ― inclusiveness, tolerance, cultural diversity, common decency, kindness.
But what hurt the most was realizing they actually voted against me and my family.
My husband is from a Muslim country. My kids are dark-skinned children of a Muslim man. What does a Trump presidency mean for them?
I never allowed myself to believe that this country could ever vote for such an overt xenophobe. I understand that people are scared of terrorism and because they don’t understand the issues, they blame their fear on immigrants. I understand this intellectually, but I’m having a harder time coming to terms with it emotionally. I’m learning that being on the receiving end of such ignorant racism and misunderstanding hurts so much.
My husband is a good man. He is a man who believes in the American Dream and says America is the greatest country on earth. He believes in our economic system and often espouses its virtues. What will he do now? Now that the pillars of his faith have been so shaken.
The people of this country have spoken, and they have voted against his right to live in and take part in our wonderful democracy. And, they’ve voted against any person of color, like my children and so many children like them, who are now under suspicion by the very people in this country who raised them.
I keep thinking of the time the child with the disability was heckled at the Trump rally, and Obama brought that kid to the White House, and showed the whole world that this behavior is not OK.
And the time the Muslim kid made the clock and brought it to school and showed his teacher and got suspended because the teacher thought he was a terrorist — and Obama brought that kid to the White House to let him know that this is not the way we want to be as a country.
Who is going to do this for us now, now that the bully is in the White House, giving permission to bigots, and hecklers, and sexual predators? Who will let this country know that these are not the behaviors of civilized thoughtful people?
Obama, the great defender, is gone and he is being replaced by the actual person encouraging the bad behavior.
This is what I fear more than the policies, more than the nuclear code, more than the Supreme Court. I fear the license to hate that Trump, just by being Trump, has handed over to the citizens of this country. And I am heartbroken that so many people are a little too eager to take it.
I am so sad and worried. I am worried for all of us.