As I headed back to work this week after vacation full of enthusiasm and visions and new goals, I was immediately met by a number of people who were doing nothing more than whining and groaning about all different facets of their lives and how miserable they were. Being the person that I am, I immediately offered assistance, an ear for listening, some comforting words, etc. but it seemed that nothing was going to work. I took the time to really listen to each one of them and have now come to the conclusion that I was doing nothing but wasting my good energy and vowed that I would never do that again.
"Nothing ever changes" is now a remark to send me immediately running in the opposite direction. Of course, everything keeps changing in some way all of the time but if you believe otherwise then you will never take any action to change something that is not working in your life. "I can't" is another mindset that will no longer set me to finding a way to show someone that they can. "You don't understand," which while I may never have had the exact experience, more than likely I had a similar experience, is the way of saying that since you don't understand, you can't do anything to help and I, the sufferer, am not going to do anything either.
What a way to live! There is not a single person in this world who has had a perfect life and never had to deal with adversity. Just like everything else, how you look at life and what you do with your life is a matter of choice. But, so many people will not take responsibility for their choices and look to others for only pity and sympathy. For anyone who comes my way who is looking to me for help or to listen to them when all they want is my attention might just as well not waste their time anymore. In the past, I would have listened and tried to help but if the other person wasn't willing to do anything to change, when and if I removed myself from their presence, I always felt guilty and questioned myself about whether there wasn't something else I could have done to make a difference.
Now I have finally learned. If you don't like your job, let's see what we can do to find you a new one. But if all you want to do is talk about how rough it is for you every day and you are not willing to take any action, I'm gone.
Can't find the right guy? Let's take a look at how you are presenting yourself, where you are looking for someone, what type of a man you are looking for, etc. But if all you want to do is talk about how men are all alike, how they are all pigs, how there are no good men left anymore, then I think that you should just wallow in your own misery while I spend my time with someone who may need my help and assistance.
I have lots of things that I want to accomplish in my life, many of which I am not even aware at this time. I want to find those opportunities, to work toward the goals that I set and be happy with the choices that I make. And I want to be with other people who think and more importantly, do things to accomplish whatever they wish to pursue. So, if all you want to do is whine and complain and moan and groan and gossip, I will not be your friend in the future because frankly, I will not have the time because I will be busy doing things with others who make a positive impact on my life, their lives and the lives of others.