I Am Other Woman; Hear Me Roar

I Am Other Woman; Hear Me Roar
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From Michelle "Bombshell" McGee to John Edwards' baby-momma, not to mention the 16 and counting Tiger Woods' mistresses, the "other woman" is getting a lot of press these days. It kind of makes me wonder, when did being an adulterer become en vogue? And each time another "other woman" comes forward, her tell-all gets a bit more sordid than the last, told without regard for the woman suffering betrayal not only from the liaison in question, but from its being made public. I'm not so naïve to think that all women have the inclination to form a sisterhood against patriarchy, or that patriarchy is an evil institution that affects only women. And true, there's no glass ceiling for self-opportunism. Still, the confessions (albeit for money and fame) of these "other women" strike me as an especially mean-spirited brand of girl-on-girl misogyny.

Relationships are complicated, and each encounter we have with another is something unique. As long as we're human, there's no absolute way to qualify the types of relationships we forge. We'll also probably always have the urge to judge our own and others' entanglements. That said, a woman who knowingly sleeps with someone else's husband or partner and then has the urge to "come forward" like she's unearthed some hidden treasure leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not suggesting we brand these women with scarlet A's, and I'm not forgetting the adulterous man in the equation, neither the media outlets that dole out dollars for salacious stories, nor the public that consumes them. In this way, blame is really useless. But back to the confessional "other woman." Something besides gold-digging and fame-seeking is at play - namely the "other woman's" warped sense of entitlement. She feels entitled to speak, and that's somewhat interesting. As the "other woman," she represents a wanton rebel, a direct threat to the sanctity of the American family. Yet as the "other," her position in the love triangle is secondary, and many would argue there's some void in her self-esteem that leads her to seek intimacy with someone not fully available. But with a very public tell-all, she has her chance to stake her claim.

Psychologist, professor and Second Wave Feminist, Dr. Judith Kuppersmith explains:

"Men are still born into this world as the number one sex, and as such, they have automatic power and move into the and through our social environment. They don't have to speak - they just have to take action - to move and push things out of their paths. Women, born the second sex, have to earn any kind of power they may want, and because they are born with less muscle and physical power, they attend to the 'other' in the social environment. It's also true that the little girl speaks earlier than the little boy and girls are encouraged to develop their social speaking as a power and control mechanism."

So by speaking, the "other woman" finds her footing, and earns power by confessing dirty little secrets.

Jennifer Aniston got a lot of flak for calling Angelina Jolie's Vogue confessional about falling in love with her husband, "Uncool." If a public flogging is what the people want, shouldn't we reevaluate who goes to the gallows? In the meantime, "other women" should stop being such haters.

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