I love my son unconditionally. I am also lucky. He is quite smart, and has a knack for math that I never had.
He is in fourth grade, will be 10 years old in June, and like most boys his age he thinks dear old dad is a dork. At times.
As a teacher, and a person who not only managed to squeak through graduating high school, I know the value of an education. From day one for my son in kindergarten, I knew habits had to be set right then and there. Homework was to be done immediately when he came home. School is for learning, and monkey business at school would not be tolerated. I find this quite ironic, that I, a student that set a record for detention in high school am this strict.
He has always gotten excellent grades. Aside from being smart, my wife and I have raised him with good values, and grandma is a former teacher and educator. I started reading to him when my wife was pregnant, and at one week old I asked the pediatrician how I could stimulate him intellectually. The look I got, he thought I was insane, can't be described.
But something happened in the last two months. Though he made the honor roll, his grades dropped slightly in some areas, and drastically in two other areas.
When I saw these two drastic grade drops -- One for completion of work (including homework) and for his at home reading -- my wife and I knew where to find the culprit. It didn't take us long. We just found the nearest mirror and saw ourselves.
My wife had lost her only client just before Thanksgiving. With the holidays approaching, both Chanukah and Christmas (as Jews, we do both. Don't ask), we had to scrape to have a decent holiday season. We were behind in some bills and being out of work did not help.
Just after the first of the year my wife got an exciting new job in Manhattan. For the first time in years she would not be working at home, but commuting to an office, and arriving home at 7 p.m. I would be solely responsible for getting my son to school, as well as picking him up and making sure his homework was being done.
Guess what? I slacked. My wife was always the one checking his homework, his folder. With me I took it for granted that his homework was completed at his after school program. I never checked his folder, nor for that matter, checked to see if he brought home his folder.
The at home reading? He is supposed to read 30 minutes every night and record his log. I did not stay on top of that either.
When we got his report card and had the conference with his teacher we also read in the comments how he was not participating in class as much. Something had to be done. The onus of correcting our son's education fell squarely on our shoulders. It was our responsibility.
First thing we did was we restricted the use if his Wii. No more playing during the week. From now on he can play it only on weekends. This will be rescinded once and only if on his next report card those two grades improve.
He must now fill out his reading log each and every night and have it checked by me. I, as well as my wife have become much more vigilant in making sure his reading gets done.
The folder must be brought home every single day whether or not there is something for us to see. I have improved my vigilance with checking his homework as well.
As far as him not participating as he used to, upon talking with him we found out he was tired at school. This was due to waking up 30 minutes earlier. We have adjusted his bedtime 45 minutes earlier.
The new rules are working just fine so far. We nipped it in the bud, and we both look forward to the next report card. I do not expect this to happen again.
Why am I sharing this? Because we, my wife and myself, are the two most important, the biggest influences in our son's education. Without us, he will not succeed. Yes, his teacher is important. The school community is important. But my wife and I are the ones who give him the guidance, the support, the values, the discipline he needs to succeed.
These so called reformers need to know this. They need to heed this. Until we start recognizing what happens in the home as the most important thing in a student's education, the wheels will continue spinning and spinning.