I Apologize For Donald Trump

How to say “I’m sorry” to the entire world.
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This is uncomfortable for me, but here goes.

Dear people of the world,

On behalf of the United States, I want to offer my sincerest apologies for Donald Trump.

Just as parents must be responsible for the trouble their young child causes, even though the parents did not necessarily cause the ice cream cone to fall onto your computer keyboard resulting in irreparable and costly harm, the parents still feel the need to apologize to you. After all, the child at this early stage of development is incapable of understanding how his actions caused that result.

How can you blame a being that is so ignorant, so naive, so full of themselves? You can’t. You roll your eyes, attempt to educate, and apologize again, and again, and again, hoping the child eventually learns.

So here is my formal apology to you, dear world. I did not vote for Trump, but I am a citizen of the country that did. Could I have done more to stop him? Undoubtedly. But that’s in the past. Let’s begin.

I’m sorry Trump personally insulted every candidate he ran against. It was a shock to us too, and we didn’t believe that kind of behavior would get him anywhere because we believed the American people expected, and deserved, better than that. I wouldn’t tolerate this kind of behavior from my 12-year-old son.

I’m sorry Trump accused President Obama of not being a United States citizen, in a racist attack that lasted years despite evidence to the contrary — and in only a sentence or two finally gave in to the truth, as though he could brush it off that easily.

I’m sorry Trump lies. Politicians tend to bend the truth to move their goals along, but Trump’s lies take the cake. Whether it’s as unimportant as claiming to have thousands more inauguration attendees than he did, or as significant as saying his health care bill will be the best health care bill in history, I am sorry every time he opens his mouth. It’s like the title of that wonderful book that came out a few years ago: Hello, He Lied.

I’m sorry Trump bullshits. This is different from lying. Bullshitting involves making shit up and not caring if it’s true or not. Bullshit is probably more dangerous than lying, because it comes more naturally — which is why more people are likely to believe it.

I’m sorry Trump encourages his fans to violently kick protestors out of his rallies. He not only encourages violence, he also encourages illegal behavior.

I’m sorry Trump has had repeated marital affairs and been caught on tape saying he can — and has — sexually assaulted women because he’s rich and famous and they let him do it. We are a nation of feminists, women and men, who more and more demand respect and fair and equal treatment so that our daughters, wives, and the rest of society don’t have to fear bullies.

I’m sorry Trump is uneducated. We continue to work to improve our nation’s schools so they will produce more educated, caring and worldly children and adults, but sometimes a bad apple slips through.

On a similar note, I’m sorry Trump plans to pull the United States out of the Paris Climate Agreement, does not believe in science, and does not want to hear from researchers or experts in their fields. This is a biggie. It affects the entire world, especially regarding global warming. I am really, really sorry.

I’m sorry Trump said he wanted to drain the swamp, then brought some of the most horrendous, biased, uneducated, racist, money-grubbing, flip-flopping, hypocritical ass-kissers the world has ever seen into his inner circle.

I’m sorry Trump installed his family as his closest advisors, even though they, too, have no experience in the political arena and seem to use their positions to make business deals with foreign governments for their own benefit.

I’m sorry Trump has inspired and emboldened hate groups and hateful individuals. Many of us have worked hard to move the country in a more welcoming, diverse and accepting direction. Know that we are working even harder to correct the course.

I’m sorry Trump has targeted Muslims as the main threat to the safety of the United States and drafted unconstitutional bills to keep them out of our country, instead of focusing on terrorists, wherever they are from. As a nation of immigrants who at one time or another have been (or are now) accused of being the problem in society, I know from history that this does not end well.

I’m sorry Trump insults judges when legal decisions don’t go his way, and claims they’re biased against him because of his erroneous assumptions based on their last names and heritage.

I’m sorry Trump considers the press the enemy of the people because they call him out on the illegal, immoral, nepotistic, treasonous, naive and stupid things he says and does and tweets on an hourly basis. Our free press is not perfect, and they do tend to go to extremes, but they continue to perform a valuable service, especially when reporting on politicians who claim they’ve done nothing wrong, all evidence to the contrary.

I’m sorry Trump does not know how to travel internationally without acting like a big baby. Pushing leaders aside to get in the front row for photo ops, refusing to put translation headphones on so he can understand what other leaders are saying, and other gaffes relegate him to the level of an impudent infant who thinks the world revolves around him.

I’m sorry the one soft spot Trump has in his heart is for tyrants, starting with Putin. It’s fun to watch tyrants in movies, but terrifying to see the President of the United States ignore all intelligence reports that warn him to steer clear of those leaders wishing to harm the USA.

I’m sorry Trump and most Republican leaders in Washington, D.C. are in-your-face hypocrites with no sense of history and a blatant desire to put party over country. And we haven’t forgotten their refusal to do their jobs and hold a confirmation hearing for the extremely qualified Supreme Court nominee Judge Merrick Garland.

I’m sorry Trump wants to get rid of Obamacare instead of improving it. Trump’s and the Republican’s healthcare bill, which they rushed through with no open hearings (compared to Obamacare’s lengthy and open review), is universally considered a catastrophe and an insult and danger to most of our citizens. It will likely leave about 23 million people without health insurance, and that’s just the beginning. Insurance rates are already expected to rise because insurance companies don’t know what the hell the government’s plan is. When a plan is opposed by insurance companies, doctors, and the general public, you know you’ve got a problem.

I’m sorry Trump won’t release his tax statements and lies that it’s because he is being audited. Other billionaires such as Warren Buffett regularly release their taxes while under audit. Every president for decades has released his tax records. Since Trump promised to release his taxes during the campaign, and has not, he lied again, and is probably hiding something serious.

I’m sorry Trump founded a bogus university, lied to and cheated the students, and got out of his responsibilities by settling out of court.

I’m sorry Trump and his wife won’t live together, and that taxpayers are footing the multimillion dollar cost to keep her and their son safe in New York, instead of living together at the White House and saving the country a fortune.

I’m sorry Trump plays golf almost every weekend, after having criticizing President Obama for playing a fraction of that time.

I’m sorry Trump continues to use his own private cell phone instead of a more secure line, and hands his phone number out to leaders around the world, thereby bypassing governmental oversight and risking top-secret information getting out. Especially as he unrelentingly criticized Hillary Clinton for putting the USA at risk for using unsecured email servers.

I’m sorry Trump and his pals worked with Russia to influence the 2016 presidential election. More and more evidence of this comes out each week despite Trump’s denials, and where there’s smoke, there is probably a bonfire. This doesn’t seem to bother many Republican leaders, but if there was an ounce of evidence Hillary had colluded with the Russians, Republicans would have been all over her, and rightfully so.

I’m sorry Trump and his spokespeople think criticizing the president is un-American and proof that Democrats are pissed they lost the election. (This, coming from the most president-criticizing group during the last eight years.) Just to be clear: Criticizing and calling out a president’s inexperience, lies, false claims, illegal activities, poor judgement, and violence-inducing speech is not un-American. It is as American as you can get, and it’s in every American’s best interest, regardless of party.

I’m sorry Trump’s supporters felt that political inexperience was a good thing in a presidential candidate. Americans don’t go to doctors with no medical experience, or architects who have never designed a building, or mechanics who’ve never seen the inside of a car, or lawyers who did not pass the bar. That’s because we usually place a high value on experience and intelligence. I hope Trump’s supporters will start hiring people with no experience for their own needs, and see how that works out for them.

I’m sorry Trump’s supporters saw his and Hillary’s faults and qualifications as equal. They are not. One candidate has devoted her life to improving public education and healthcare for young people, won praise from Republicans for her role as the first female senator from New York, was the most well-traveled Secretary of State in history, and then answered forthrightly hour after hour of questions regarding instances of her admittedly poor judgement. The other guy has done virtually nothing to help the people of the United States, lied incessantly about his accomplishments, personally insulted anyone opposing him, bragged about molesting women, and shown little grasp of the details required to run a country.

I’m sorry Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. I’m no fan of Comey’s. His announcement near the end of the 2016 election that Hillary Clinton’s emails were of concern again when they really weren’t, as one contributing factor that tilted the election to Trump, was a train wreck. But firing Comey while the FBI director investigated Trump and his campaign for working with the Russians to influence the US election was blatantly Nixonian.

And finally, I’m sorry I can’t continue to write this apology piece. Every couple of hours there is a new tweet or decision or statement that calls out for yet another apology for Trump. I’ve got laundry to do, marketing, cooking dinner for my family, earning a living, that sort of thing.

So remember this: Every time you hear or read or see something our soon-to-be ex-president has farted out of his mouth, know that most of the American people feel your pain and also wish he would just go away.

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