My mom passed away in May. I withdrew. I left my home in Los Angeles and took shelter in a tiny town in the midwest. I let myself love and be loved, raised ducks and chickens, and tried to figure out how to live without the one person who’s loved me forever.
I questioned everything: my purpose, my business, and the next steps. I contemplated ending my writing, speaking, and teaching career. I’ve experienced so much strife in my lifetime, and I had always responded with bold perseverance and fierce grace. I fell pretty hard this time though. I couldn’t connect to the fire that has always fueled me.
So, I let go. I let go of every intangible and material thing. I told the universe that if it had other plans for me, I needed a sign, a sign I could understand and not dismiss with rationalizations.
A few days later, a producer working for Bill Clinton called. She’d found my story and wanted to share it as an American success story. I was incredulous. I explained that I was in a speck of a town, three hours from any major airport, and I had no plans on leaving. I wrote a letter to President Clinton, thanking him for his hand in creating the environment that enabled me to succeed (transforming from drop-out-welfare-mom to law school graduate, home and business owner).
They sent a film crew across the country to spend three hours with me. Following their lead, I relived some of the greatest successes of my life (smiling and crying ... on camera ... ugh). When it was almost over, they handed me a reply from President Clinton. It said that my life was proof that his efforts as president were worth it. He closed the letter: “Help us make more of you!”
That sign I asked for ... I guess there’s more for me to do.