I Do! (Or Do I?)




This is a big scary subject because most people that fear commitment are not aware that they do! They always have "reasons." And they are good ones! But most times these "reasons" are simply disguises for the fear of commitment.

Most people will say that what they are really afraid of is being trapped somehow. But the deeper truth of the fear of commitment is a conscious or unconscious belief that no one can or will love us.

So, instead of taking the risk of being rejected, we just won't engage in the first place.

It's easy to slip into this. It is a kind of avoidance. We can do it in many ways, and all those ways will make perfect and logical sense to us at the time: like working too much, or not taking care of our bodies, or getting another cat when we already have three! These are just a few examples of potential self-sabotages. There are thousands more. And all of these can become excuses, justifications, and blocks to being in, and staying in, an enduring relationship.

In our heart of hearts we all want to love and be loved. Falling in love and committing to someone means taking a risk. Love requires it.

It is true, there are no guarantees. It might not work.

But from a spiritual perspective, this entire life experience is about love. How you love, who you love, that you love, is the whole point! And letting someone love you, and you loving them is one of the fastest learning paths to a spiritually aware life that there is.

So, take a step. Take the risk. Timing is everything. Are you ready to really love, to open your heart and find real union with a partner that is ready, too? Then, love will meet you. Do you need love to fill up the empty space, or to make you feel good about yourself? Then, love will surely be impeded.

Love is complicated.

Love is simple.

When you are able to love yourself and be open to letting someone love you; and when you are able to love someone else in that same way, love cannot help but find you. And that love may surprise you utterly, and be the greatest love of all.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of