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'I Drove In Feeling Like A Soccer Mom And Drove Out Feeling Sexy'

Sometimes, you just have to treat yourself.

If there’s ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it’s during the divorce process. That’s why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we’ll show you what things — books, movies, recipes — helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at

What helped divorce coach Debbie Martinez deal with an unexpected divorce back in 2007? For starters, a particularly uplifting Josh Groban tune and heading to a local tennis court to de-stress.

Below, the mom of two shares those and a few other things that helped her cope when her marriage of 15 years ended.

The Hobby
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"I played tennis like a maniac! It was such a welcome relief because I could smack the crap out of the ball! It gave me a place to let out my anger and hurt in a constructive way, plus I had to concentrate while playing so it gave my mind a much needed rest from the demands of a divorce. I had my teammates and my coach to make me laugh."
The Song
"The song was 'You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)' by Josh Groban. I played it over and over and over much to the dismay of people riding in my car with me. But it was a reminder that even though I didn't feel loved by my soon-to-be ex, I was still loved by God and my friends and family. I needed to hear I was loved and not to give up."
The Books
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"Two books made a big difference: Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford and A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson. I include Anderson's book in my Moving On Box for clients. It's like a divorce care package."
The Splurge
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"On Halloween night 2013, I dropped the kids off to trick or treat and drove my old SUV to the Jeep dealership. I put my keys on his desk and said make me a deal. I drove in feeling like a soccer mom and drove out feeling sexy in my Jeep Wrangler Sahara. It was the best thing I could have done to make me feel free."
The Quotes
"Two Bible verses were ever present in my mind during that period in my life. I say period because moving on took years. Just because the divorce was over didn't mean that everything was OK. Divorce is a process. The first was: 'No weapon formed against you shall prosper.' (Isaiah 54:17) This one resonated because it was a very contentious divorce and I had peace that God was looking out for me. The other one was: 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' (Jeremiah 29:11) My marriage was my future and when that was taken away, I needed to be reminded that there was still hope and a future for me."

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