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Divorce

'I Drove In Feeling Like A Soccer Mom And Drove Out Feeling Sexy'

Sometimes, you just have to treat yourself.

If there’s ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it’s during the divorce process. That’s why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we’ll show you what things — books, movies, recipes — helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com.

What helped divorce coach Debbie Martinez deal with an unexpected divorce back in 2007? For starters, a particularly uplifting Josh Groban tune and heading to a local tennis court to de-stress.

Below, the mom of two shares those and a few other things that helped her cope when her marriage of 15 years ended.

The Hobby
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"I played tennis like a maniac! It was such a welcome relief because I could smack the crap out of the ball! It gave me a place to let out my anger and hurt in a constructive way, plus I had to concentrate while playing so it gave my mind a much needed rest from the demands of a divorce. I had my teammates and my coach to make me laugh."
The Song
"The song was 'You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)' by Josh Groban. I played it over and over and over much to the dismay of people riding in my car with me. But it was a reminder that even though I didn't feel loved by my soon-to-be ex, I was still loved by God and my friends and family. I needed to hear I was loved and not to give up."
The Books
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"Two books made a big difference: Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford and A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson. I include Anderson's book in my Moving On Box for clients. It's like a divorce care package."
The Splurge
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"On Halloween night 2013, I dropped the kids off to trick or treat and drove my old SUV to the Jeep dealership. I put my keys on his desk and said make me a deal. I drove in feeling like a soccer mom and drove out feeling sexy in my Jeep Wrangler Sahara. It was the best thing I could have done to make me feel free."
The Quotes
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"Two Bible verses were ever present in my mind during that period in my life. I say period because moving on took years. Just because the divorce was over didn't mean that everything was OK. Divorce is a process. The first was: 'No weapon formed against you shall prosper.' (Isaiah 54:17) This one resonated because it was a very contentious divorce and I had peace that God was looking out for me. The other one was: 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' (Jeremiah 29:11) My marriage was my future and when that was taken away, I needed to be reminded that there was still hope and a future for me."

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