I seemed to pass all the mile markers of pregnancy with relative ease, save for the back pain and vomiting. And then it hit me in the middle of the night as I got to 30 weeks:
Holy hell, I'm having another baby?! How on God's green Earth is that going to work?
They're not joking when they say that the sight of your firstborn makes your world stop spinning for a moment, and you truly think to yourself: I will never love another human being as much as I love you. So how is my numero uno guy going to deal with having a numero dos to contend with? Hell, how am I?
What happens now to my family of three that so easily revolves around our favorite little man? How is cuddling and dinnertime and bathtime and bedtime and every single moment in between going to possibly be balanced? How will life work? How will the distribution of love work?
I know what you're thinking, mamas of multiples: It just does. You just have to do it and your family will be filled with even more love and light than before. Fine, I totally buy that. But how?
I'm a logistics person. I'm not a "wait and see" kind of person. I need to know: How really does this work on a daily -- even hourly -- basis?
Will my firstborn -- the cliché holds true: my heart and soul -- hate his new brother? Will he resent me? Or will he step up to the plate and surprise us all (doubtful)? I know I planned this, but I'm still in shock over it.
How will I be able to bond with both of my children equally, or is that a total pipe dream? How, as a working mother, will I get out of the house every day without feeling like I've left something major -- two things -- behind? While we're at it, how am I ever going to go to the bathroom again by myself? Just: HOW?
Again, I know what you're thinking: Humans have been doing this forever and they will continue doing it forever. I'm not the first person to have a second child, and I certainly won't be the last. But that doesn't mean I'm not totally freaking the f**k out. So let me dwell in my freaked-out-ness, mmkay?