Parents

I Still Pray For My Ex-Husband

I love my children much more than I could ever dislike their father.
01/15/2017 11:13am ET | Updated April 30, 2017
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White Rosary

Praying is something I do often. I pray when things are going well, and when I feel like I’m at my breaking point. Payer is a stress reliever for me, but also a way for me to feel more connected with the world and the universe as a whole.

My husband always says everyone is made of “star stuff,” and energy doesn’t disappear, it simply takes a new form. This is one thing he, Neil deGrasse Tyson and I are sure to agree on.

My husband is a prove it type of man. He won’t believe in God or any other higher power until Jesus comes down and tells him about it himself, which is fine. I pray for him anyway. I pray for my husband daily and pray for my ex-husband almost as often.

“Things did not end on fabulous terms, but my children are fabulous and they deserve two parents that get along.”

I know to some the thought of praying for your ex-wife or husband may seem strange, but for me it has become second nature. You see, my ex-husband and I share three children and 15 years together, so one can imagine after so much life together I would care about him as a person.

Does this mean I’m in love with him? No. I have love for him as the father of my children and someone I grew into adulthood with. He was, and still is a large part of my life, and I want nothing but success for him. Things did not end on fabulous terms, but my children are fabulous and they deserve two parents that get along.

They deserve to have both of their parents covered in prayer, and if no one else is praying for him, he is covered in my prayers.

My children bring me so much light, life and joy. I cannot imagine hurting their little pure hearts because mine is filled with disdain for half of who they are. I love my children much more than I could ever dislike their father, and for that reason alone I moved beyond any past hurts to make room for the kind of co-parenting relationship they deserve to see.

I pray to preserve that. I have prayed to have a positive relationship with his wife, and that their marriage would be successful. I pray for him more when he travels, so he can have a safe journey home.

“He’s not my ex, he’s my children’s father.”

The reason behind my continued prayer for my ex-husband is quite simple. He’s not my ex, he’s my children’s father. If he doesn’t succeed, then my children suffer. If he is not mentally healthy, then my children, again will suffer. If he is unhappy in his current marriage, my children will see that and they will suffer.

The relationship between me and my children’s dad is intentional. We discussed in detail what life would be like if we ever divorced and children were involved. We wanted to be prepared, just in case, and when the “just in case” became reality we already had our post-marital relationship worked out. I don’t know if this was the right thing to do, but it is what worked for us.

Being a prayerful wife is something that I’ve always striven to be and that didn’t stop with divorce and re-marriage. So, I will continue to pray as often as I can, and write in my prayer journal as often as I remember. Prayer is a powerful thing for me and praying for those in my life is just something that keeps me connected.

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Karlie is the person behind the blog Stop Yelling at Me...please! She enjoys writing about life, current events and of course, parenting. Karlie is a mother of three and the wife of one supportive husband that is not being held against his will, really. You can check out more of her work at stopyellingatmeplease.com