I Think The Grammys Are Coming Up. Maybe.

I didn't even know the Grammys still existed. Perhaps that dinner party I went to last week was really a Grammys party in disguise. It was boring enough and I think we listened to Beyonce.
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While driving in my car the other day, I slowly drove past a huge billboard of Rihanna. For those who don't have a hip girlfriend to inform them, Rihanna is apparently a huge pop star. According to Wikipedia she also "serves as the cultural ambassador for the island of Barbados." She's 20 years old and has already fashioned a career as a pop star/world leader. A Peter Gabriel for a new era. It's very impressive.

But I couldn't figure out why this aspiring diplomat randomly had her face plastered around Los Angeles. Even Peter Gabriel doesn't have that. The artwork made her look epic, like a legend. But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out the reasoning behind a giant picture of her face hovering over the local Jack in the Box.

Two tacos for 99 cents later, it hit me:

This was a billboard for the Grammy Awards.

I didn't even know the Grammys still existed. I thought they fell by the wayside around the time Carlos Santana recorded a romp with Rob Thomas, ruining our memory of both Santana and Matchbox 20 in the process. (The latter's legacy was ruined because we now look back at them in a positive light. Oh Carlos.)

According to this billboard, not only do the Grammy Awards still exist, but they might even be coming up. I can only assume Rihanna is hosting.

You know what I'm positive still exists? The Academy Awards. I know who's hosting them: Wolverine. I know the nominees for the Oscars, and that they get more press than the actual Grammy Awards. Hell, I even know the Oscars have a dress rehearsal (for some reason coined "The Golden Globes"). And most importantly, I know exactly when that George Clooney-fest goes down: February 22nd. There may even be a a party for it where I get together with people I sort of know.

But the Grammys? I think they're in February. But they could've easily happened already and I wouldn't have noticed. Perhaps that dinner party I went to last week was really a Grammys party in disguise. It was boring enough and I think we listened to Beyonce.

What happened? When I was younger, I used to love the Grammys and I looked forward to them. They seemed like an honor. Really awarding the best of the best.

Maybe the music isn't as good these days and the songs don't need acknowledgment. Remember "Sledgehammer?" Peter Gabriel sang the hell out of that. I don't know if it won a Grammy (why should I; I'm not Wikipedia), but I'm guessing it won like 18 of them. What about any Michael Jackson song? I was only five years old at the time, but I can only assume that the 1988 Grammys were just a tribute to "Bad." If that album was recorded today, you better believe Jacko's face would be above that Jack in the Box. And you better believe you'd be tuning in.

Maybe the internet has ruined the communal experience of music, taking it out of large, shoulder supported boomboxes and putting it into little white earphones. Maybe there's no reason to get to excited for awards given to artists and bands that only show up on "shuffle" while we're jogging with our iPod.

Whatever the reason, I'm just not excited, or even interested, in a music awards ceremony anymore. The weird thing is that I'm much more of a music fan now than I was in 1992, when Boyz II Men was wearing matching outfits and thanking Michael Bivins.

But if they host, let me know.

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