“Love alone could waken love.” Pearl S. Buck
There are moments in life that I won’t be ready for. That doesn’t mean they won’t happen. That doesn’t mean I should sit back and do nothing.
I wasn’t ready to write this.
This isn’t another article about names in politics; this is an article about you and me.
The hatred and violence in the world today (as if this were a new thing) is beyond my ability to fathom. It bears the infinite weight of endless agony prompted by fear, self-hatred, other-hatred, disoriented religions, and a reckless abandonment of anything associated with love.
Where are we and what are we doing here?
It is important to note that situations and experiences cannot be compared, for none of them are the same. Each of us relates differently to all of the things happening in the world precisely because we bring our own lenses and our own experiences to them. My lens is one of ignorance, privilege, whiteness, and a very clear sense of my lack of experience with discrimination and/or being in unjust situations.
However, that doesn’t make any one of us exempt from the human race. If I see a brother or sister in the human race hurting or in danger, how is it not my responsibility to speak up, stand up, and do my part to help love grow where it has died or been abandoned? How is it not my responsibility to stand with, near, or in front of those hurting to remind them the importance of their very lives? Every ounce of love-oriented humanness lost, especially unlike me, diminishes all of our lives and all of our abilities to live out who we are.
“I am therefore not completely human until I have found myself in my African and Asian and Indonesian brother because he has the part of humanity which I lack.” Thomas Merton
Names should be spoken. The names of victims, the names of movements, the names of those who need us to keep their balance, and whose eyes we need to keep ours. These truths and beyond deserve to be spoken:
Black lives matter. No one should wake up in fear just because of the color of their skin.
The LGBTQIAA community deserves the right to live their lives openly and without fear.
Muslims deserve to practice openly and peacefully without judgments or assumptions.
And, certainly, this list goes on and on...
If one cannot get a grip on saying any of those sentences because they feel all lives matter or because they disagree with Islam or being gay, then they’re missing the point. We say these things precisely because all lives matter; we say these things because we are less whole when our fellow human is in danger physically, emotionally, or otherwise. And, it is time to listen and time to stand with these lives that are in danger.
Listen. Speak. Stand.
I have never felt so strongly in my life that our silence in the face of these tragedies only disarms us of our strength and further provokes the precise violence and hatred we abhor. Some of us fear our own stance ― that we might lose friends or go into a rabbit hole of discussions with the “other side.”
Do I want to live a life of love? Then, there’s only one “side” and only one clear evident stance to take - to stand in love with my fellow human beings.
How many times have I hindered my love and compassion because I was worried what others might think? With lovers, friends, family, or someone different from me? Countless times. Even now, as my black friends are hurting beyond words, my police officer friends put on their uniforms trembling, my Muslim friends attempt to discontinue lies being told about them time and time again, and the many others I’ve failed to stand with.
Do we enjoy being able to walk down the street without fear of being shot? So do our neighbors. Do we like being able to openly love whom we love? So do our neighbors. Do we appreciate being able to openly express our religious beliefs without fear of discrimination, hatred, or violence? So do our neighbors. Do we like being able to do our job peacefully? So do our neighbors.
Neighbors. Whether we like it or not, we’re all in this together. We must listen, weep, speak up, and stand for more than just our own wounds. We must recognize that we share the same wounds – whether I had a part in creating yours or I simply see it; I have a shared responsibility as a fellow human to work toward healing.
Some days I back off of saying something thinking it will pass. Some days I’m so worried about looking good or hoping others will just feel better.
Yet, our silences do not “look good” and they make no one feel better. Our silences in matters of hate, violence, bullying, and negativity only give power to the oppressor and make the oppressed feel more alone.
The world is a scary place. And, we need each other. We need examples of people being who they are in love. We need people to stand up next to their alienated friends and co-workers as they expose parts of themselves that may be difficult. We need to wander into life hand-in-hand with those different from ourselves. We need more compassion and understanding. We need to look at one another in the eye as the neighbors that we already are. We need hope. And hope is not vain optimism. Hope is a weary voice that keeps speaking truth. Hope is our continual emergence into standing with love, in love.
“Hope will not be silent...” Harvey Milk
There are moments in life that you won’t be ready for. That doesn’t mean they won’t happen.
I wasn’t ready to write this.
I might be wrong, but maybe Martin Luther King Jr. wasn’t “ready” to spend his life on the civil rights movement, yet he knew something needed to change. Maybe Gandhi wasn’t “ready” for a hunger strike, but he knew that was his part to promote love. Perhaps, Harriet Tubman wasn’t “ready” to help slaves into freedom, but who else was going to do it? And possibly Susan B. Anthony wasn’t “ready” to be the face of the women’s suffrage movement, but she knew what needed to be done.
I know that I can listen, speak, stand, and will continue to. I know I can weep, and will continue to. Whether alone, in the company of loved ones or strangers; our sadness, outrage, and most importantly our aligned stance in love makes us a unified voice that cannot be denied.
Love evokes hope; hope evokes love. And both tell me to stand. They tell me to stand up and be myself and recognize those doing the same or needing someone to rise up next to. They tell me to stand near them, to stand with them, but even if alone ― to stand.
“I was going to die, if not sooner then later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.
What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? Perhaps for some of you here today, I am the face of one of your fears. Because I am a woman, because I am Black, because I am lesbian, because I am myself — a Black woman warrior poet doing my work — come to ask you, are you doing yours?” Audre Lorde*
* From I Am Because We Are, Blog: “(Originally delivered at the Modern Language Association’s “Lesbian and Literature Panel,” Chicago, Illinois, December 28, 1977. First published in Sinister Wisdom 6 (1978) and The Cancer Journals (Spinsters, Ink, San Francisco, 1980)”
A version of this article was previously published on Cassidy’s site: 17spaces.org
