Its true...I'm extremely heterosexual but I woke up with a beautiful woman in my bed on Valentines morning. I ended my last relationship a few weeks before, knowing that meant a solo Valentines Day for me, but that was okay. For me, V-day is a day to celebrate all of the love in my life. I flipped my meaning of that day after too many disappointments in my 18 year marriage. Some say it's too commercial and bah humbug the whole day, but for me, love any day of the year is worth celebrating! Valentines Day could be quite wonderful for us all, if only we could get rid of those damn expectations.
I have always loved women...I have always valued female relationships...and I adore working with my amazing clients simply because they are wonderful ladies! But in the last few months, more than ever, I have begun to realize that female friends are where it's at for me!
No, I'm not giving up dating or men, but the reality for all singles (although I guess I'm speaking primarily to women here), is that the men in most of our lives, will come and go. Even if we marry (again), statistically, men die earlier than women, so we are going to have times of intermittent singleness. If we drop our girlfriends the second we find a new man, guess what will happen? We will have to build new friendships each time we find ourselves single, creating more feelings of aloneness.
This is why I am cultivating more friendships and found a group of women who have the same vision. We are committed to building strong relationships, despite what is going on in our romantic lives...which brings me to waking up with a girlfriend in my bed.
Saturday night, we had a Girls Night In...we like to go out to dinner, but knowing there would be tons of Valetines diners, we altered our plans to Pj's and wine and good chatting at my place. I have to say without any engineering of anyone at all, the conversation was often hilarious and fun, but also vulnerable and raw. This group of gals shared things that they had kept hidden because of fear of judgement and in doing so, we were able to loved, hugged and validated. It was a beautiful, sacred time! We grew, we laughed, we connected...and we didn't feel any less loved whether we had a date for the big V-day or not. We had enough love in that room to keep us going for a while!
Lauren, the youngest of our group (and bona-fide old soul), slept over...and she slept in my bed. We are both introverts and sisters-from-another-mister who love our space, but sometimes it's nice not to have the whole bed to yourself. Just knowing you have a friend you love enough to sleep with on opposite sides of the bed, can make you sleep just a little sounder.
Value your girlfriends, ladies...be intentional about cultivating them...support them...still go to dinner with them even when you meet a new love interest.
Maybe you'll end up with a girlfriend in your bed on Valentines Day, too!