Ich Bin Ein Negative Partisan Polarizing Name-Calling Finger-Pointer

There are things - say, wars based on lies - that are worth being "partisan" about - partisan not in pursuit of a party for party's sake, but for a cause.
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Well, it's election day, the day when millions of us are out doing what Joe Lieberman calls being negative partisan polarizing name-calling finger-pointer. What are we doing to get such a label? We are voting. I know, I know - you are just excercising your civic duty to engage in the political process. But really, who the hell do you think you are? You think you have a right to ignore Joe Lieberman and his merry band of Washington lobbyists who say you are all just a bunch of negative partisan polarizing finger-pointers who engage in name-calling? You have some goddamned nerve to think that as a war based on lies gets worse and worse, you have a right to voice anything other than "stay the course" positivity and smile as the body count racks up. How dare you, really.

This was the spittle dribbling off the angry face of today's Fox News - the network Joe chose to give an exclusive interview to on election day. Apparently, the Fox News team responded in kind, bringing "Vote Joe" signs with them to set up the nice stand up shot as if they were paid staffers on Joe's campaign. The shot looked good for Fox's favorite candidate - the free trade apologist, divisive political icon, symbol of career-politicianism/status quo, Bush puppet and Iraq War promoter who is also simultaneously describing himself as Caesar Chavez, Mr. Politics of Unity and Purpose, a Che Guevara change revolutionary, the greatest critic of President Bush in the entire Congress and the self-described heir to Mahatma Ghandi's legacy as the leader of the global international peace movement.

During the interview, Joe effusively thanked his colleagues in the Washington Democratic Establishment for going out of their way to not help Ned Lamont after he won the Democratic primary. I guess now that it's election day, Joe can take the cat out of the bag and marvel at the obvious: that he probably wouldn't be even close in the polls had any Democrats other than John Kerry, Ted Kennedy and Wes Clark done something other than give Joe a standing ovation after the primary, offer him seniority, and plant slobbery Bush-like kisses on his face (which, if you haven't seen, looks more and more like a rubber Halloween mask that was accidentally thrown on a slow-burning fire and is now gradually melting/liquefying).

Heading out to do some GOTV, I was reminded again of just how D.C. Democrats' corruption and hatred of actual Democratic voters has manifested itself in ways destructive to the Democratic Party itself when I heard embattled Republican Rep. Rob Simmons' final radio ad. The ad asks voters to see Simmons and Lieberman as one ticket - and vote for both of them because they have been such staunch defenders of happy ponies. Rob Simmons is, to use the ad slogan, "stickin' with Joe" - and he's hoping that because of that, voters stick with him, and possibly prevent a Democratic takeover of the U.S. House.

Nice work, D.C. Democrats, really. You're showing an unrivaled commitment to the same kind of gutlessness shrink wrapped as "strategy" that has lost every congressional election over the last decade. Here's hoping that nonetheless you actually win the majority in spite of yourself and don't continue living the dream as a party comfortable in the minority, content that at least under Republican rule, Democratic Hill staffers get decent office chairs and stationary emblazoned with the congressional seal.

Also of interest, on my way back to the Meriden headquarters, I got a call recounting how when Ned and his wife and kids went to vote this morning, they were met with yet another group of illegal slush-fund-paid Lieberthugz - a last hurrah before the post-election FEC, IRS and Justice Department subpoenas about the slush fund could be issued to Lieberman campaign staff (I'd say it's about time to lawyer up, Sherry and Dangerstein - this may not be goin' away).

Today, the Lieberthugz tried to force themselves in front of cameras that were trying to interview Ned after he voted. Lieberthug Life never ends - even on election day. You stay classy, Joe Lieberman - oh, and make sure to wipe that last smudge of politics of unity and purpose off your face before your concession speech tonight.

Joe and Ned have spent the waning hours of the race doing radio interviews, reiterating their cases. There's not much new to report on that front - it's basically Joe asking people to vote for him because he's supposedly not negative and never finger-points, and Ned asking people to vote for him in order to stop a half-trillion dollar war that has destabilized the planet, killed thousands of people and destroyed America's national security. Joe never explains why we're not supposed to feel "negative" about the Iraq War reality that Ned has based his campaign on. I guess to him, we're supposed to watch the body bags and limbless survivors come home from the battlefield and just feel swell, give our puppy dogs a hug, eat a big piece of apple pie, celebrate how wonderful everything is and believe that the real problem facing America is all those negative partisan polarizing finger-pointing name-callers who are trying to change things.

But I'll make it plain: if pushing for change and demanding accountability makes you a "negative partisan polarizing finger-pointing name-caller," then I happily embrace the label by saying ich bin ein negative partisan polarizing name-calling finger-pointer. Why? Because under this definition, the great political heroes through history from Teddy Roosevelt to Martin Luther King to Robert F. Kennedy to Paul Wellstone were all "partisan polarizing finger-pointing name-callers." You can't change things unless you are willing to fight. It's just that simple. There are things - say, wars based on lies - that are worth being "partisan" about - partisan not in pursuit of a party for party's sake, but for a cause.

Now go - we've got some more of this election day left. Get out there and fight, you partisan polarizing finger-pointing name callers. Go make history.

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