If We Fight Them Over There

"People are watching that debate."

-- George Bush, press conference, 2/14/07

In a jail in Jakarta, a jihadist from Jedda has learned the coordinates of a Mafioso in Moscow who will sell him a dirty bomb for a billion rubles. But if John Boehner and Roy Blunt can prevent the nonbinding House resolution against the Iraq escalation from passing, then that jihadist will completely forget the cell phone number of that Russian while doing a Sodoku.

In a madrassa in South Waziristan, students watch a Wahhabi Web site sing the glories of suicidal martyrdom. But if Pete Hoekstra and Pete King can prevail over Pat Murphy and Jerry Nadler this week in Washington, then next week in Waziristan those students will trade the real Clash of Civilizations for the virtual World of Warcraft, and will pre-order Halo 3.

In western Iraq's Anbar province, US Army intelligence officials have concluded that al-Qaeda in Iraq has scored a complete political victory over the Iraqi government in that province. But if only Congress can find the cojones to tell George Bush's father's consigliere Jim Baker to go Cheney himself, then Fallujah will be renamed Freedom City, and every Tuesday will be called Purple Finger Day.

In Dayton, Denver, Dallas and Des Moines, Islamic terrorists are planning to put anthrax in the water, sarin in the air, Semtex in the schools and suitcase nukes in the stadiums. But if Mitch McConnell's Republican filibuster can keep Harry Reid from bringing the debate on the resolution against the escalation to the Senate floor, then in a heartbeat, those sleeper cells are going to put down their terrorist plans and pick up The Measure of a Man by Mr. Sidney Poitier instead.