I actually don't believe in "wrong" stories. I do believe however, that every story we create about ourselves and every story that we find ourselves in is a doorway to our fullest potential. They are here to challenge us, to help us grow, evolve, expand and ultimately teach us how to live more aligned to our truth and our soul. None of this is possible if we believe our stories have the final say. Our stories are nothing more than false interpretations of our passed experiences and lies that we bought into about ourselves and the world around us.
Rather than taking the time to get to know our story so that we can make choices that feel aligned to who we really are, we live like a hamster on a wheel, replaying out the same scenarios over and over again.
I know this all too well. Until I looked at my own story, I remained in countless relationships way past their expiration date and remained in an unfulfilling career for many years all because I was believing in stories that didn't serve me. Our stories usually sound something like...
"I should stay because this is all there is."
"I should stay because it is safe."
"I'd rather stay than be alone."
"I am unworthy of anything else."
"I'm not good enough."
"I'm not lucky enough."
"It's not possible for me."
There are countless more and each and every one of them keep us confined and limited. Our mind is so invested in these beliefs because its only job is to keep us safe. It has no interest in our growth. It has no interest in allowing us to take risks or step out of our comfort zone. The mind would much rather keep us in our comfort zone even though our comfort zone is really creating tremendous discomfort in our lives. Nothing beautiful can ever grow in our comfort zone. Just look at a caterpillar. That caterpillar needs to go through some serious discomfort to transform. I'm sure it would rather stay in its cocoon. That is until it experiences what it's like to be a butterfly. It has no desire to leave its cocoon simply because it has no awareness of what kind of experiences it will have as a butterfly. It doesn't realize that it will grow wings and those wings will take it places far beyond its wildest dreams.
Our stories work very much the same way. They keep us stuck and confined in a cocoon. We don't take the time to image what our experiences would be like outside of our story. We believe that what we currently see is the only possibilities that exist. That's what living in a cocoon will do. It leaves no room for expansion and growth and I have some serious news for you. THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE. It's really time that we GET this. Why would we come here to replay out old experiences over and over again? It's very funny when you take a moment to think about it. Our stories control us when we allow them to. They run our lives and we find ourselves frustrated, discouraged and confused if we don't take ownership of them. Either they will own us or we will own them. The truth is we get to create our lives and we get to choose our story each and every day. We get the final say. Although we are given this gift, most of us never receive this gift. Not because we don't want to, but because just like the caterpillar, we aren't aware that it is a possibility. I'm here to tell you it's a possibility. We are all given choice. We are all given free will. It's not our stories that define us, it's what we choose to do with our stories that define us.
So if you are finding yourself in the wrong story, first take the time to get to know what your story is telling you. Is it telling you...
"I'm too old."
"I have no other options."
"It's too late for me."
"Nobody will love me."
"I'm too scared."
"Nobody will approve of me."
"It's just not possible."
Get honest. Get real. Discover. Get Curious. Only the truth will set you free. Nothing else will. Not a job. Not an experience. Not a house or a car or a person. Only the hard truth can offer you freedom.
Choose to learn from your story and uncover the gifts in it. And then... with much gratitude and your gorgeous wings, exit gracefully with the knowing that just like the butterfly you get to transform your story anytime you choose.