I woke up yesterday morning as if it were any other day. I opened my eyes, played with my husband's beautiful, auburn hair as he lay next to me, and started my daily rituals to prepare for work. Just seconds into a beautiful late-June morning, my shocked husband gave me the most appalling news. "Your biological mother made a nasty comment about our book," he said.
As new authors of the first all-inclusive relationship book, The Best Workout Is "Sex": A Gay Guide to Your Ideal Marriage, my husband and I are gleefully excited every day to see how much more traction our book has gained. We wrote a book to enlighten everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, on how to intimately connect with their romantic counterpart. The mission of the book is to shed a necessary spotlight on the importance of marriage equality by revealing the similarities between same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Our thought process was simple and kindhearted: If we truly step up and show people that our relationships are essentially the same, this world would be as beautiful as life itself.
As I prepped myself to read what my biological mother had posted on Amazon.com about our book, my body seemed to go numb. She chose a heartless title for her post: "i'm disgusted with my son being married to a man." The post went on to say:
My initial reaction after reading Samantha's comments was almost too calm for comfort. I reacted as if what I had just read was a dream and that this was not happening in front of my husband. That calm attitude quickly turned into embarrassment. The pain that she'd made me feel for the majority of my life was becoming familiar once again. Somewhat disoriented, all I could do was call and text my family the news. I needed to alert the people who love me most about the harsh comments. I needed my support system. I was immediately taken back to those unstable moments when a little boy learned that his biological mother didn't want him.
Some people are cruel, callous, and scared of what they don't understand. I had the misfortune of coming into this world by one of those ignorant people. That misfortune has also been the single most influential blessing in my life. My father and his family have shown me the world, loved me unconditionally, and instilled unwavering strength in me. I have pursued my life goals, embarked on an incredible journey, and found my partner in life because of the values my loving family has given me. The reaction of my husband and family once again proves that Samantha Gayle Lee can no longer hurt me. In some way I may have needed that reassurance.
I have to be honest: The comments that my biological mother displayed for the world to see made me cry. It's such a peculiar emotion to go through life being bullied by a biological parent. I'm Samantha's firstborn child and her only son. Sadly, I'm not shocked by her comments. This is the same person who had more children and kept them away from me. This is the woman who told me via email that she would not be attending my high-school graduation because it wasn't important. This is the same person who stole my identity and ruined my credit. The tears that I shed were nothing more than a reminder of where I come from and who I want to be in this life. I choose to be honest, loving, nonjudgmental, ambitious, and a source of empowerment.
There will always be someone looking to bring you down and make you feel less than human. In some cases it may very well be a biological parent or a close relative. Don't let anyone steal your happiness. Don't allow someone to take your joy. Be yourself, and put positive energy into this world. Life indeed gets better.