Prior to becoming a mother, I had all of these grand ideas of motherhood. Most of all, I knew I was going to be amazing and so was my child.
Allow me to delight you to some of my brilliant ideas:
1. I was going to be so attentive to my child, he would never cry, want for anything or act out.
2. My child would never ever eat fast food.
3. My child would not watch TV before 2.
4. My chid would not play on a smartphone, tablet or video game console until he was, at least, 10 years old.
5. I was going to stick to the 'routine' like glue, so my child would always be well adjusted and easy to get to sleep.
6. I was going to be the best school-mom ever. Including attending classroom parties, field trips and PTO meetings.
7. I would never use foul language, or argue with my husband in front of my child.
Ok, I'm going to stop now, because surely you get the picture. I had this insane preconceived notion of what the, "perfect mother" is, and how I was sure I would be her.
Ha! I can sum those grand ideas up in three words.
Ignorance. Is. Bliss.
Now that I am a mother, I realize all of those grand ideas were, well, crazy. Especially, for me.
I'm just not that kind of mother.
In fact, I'm not sure any mother really is? Is it possible to never screw up, or always stick to the routine? Or ONLY feed your child all-natural organic foods, and still be active and on-the-go? And that whole classroom-mom and PTO stuff, is not for me.
Not yet anyway.
And showing up for carpool 45 minutes early so my kid can be picked up first? Yeah, that's never going to happen.
I tried to make a super-awesome Valentines box, but was stopped when my son decided his Star Wars Lunch box looked like a better option. Which, was the truth. My homemade valentines box was turning into a sh!t-box.
Even my son knows, I'm just not that kind of mother. And thankfully, he's cool with it.
My little guy could give a crap if I picked him up first after school. (I asked him!) He absolutely LOVES when we have to grab a meal on-the-go at a fast food place. He thinks bedtime is for the birds, so when we miss his regularly scheduled bedtime for a family night out, he's all for it. The tablet is a win-win for both of, since he can play one of his favorite learning games while I have a quiet minute to think, or get something done. (I caved to technology, but only under the pretense that my child only has access educational apps.)
The truth is, I don't really even know what kind of mother I am. I know I love my son with all of my heart, would do anything in the world for him, and above all, I try to be the best mother I know how to be. I also always try to follow my heart and instincts, even when they go against my silly pre-mother ideas.
If having a quiet, well-behaved child means crushing my lively-child's spirit, by constantly staying on him, then forget it. If being the perfect mother requires strictly sticking to a routine, wasting 45 minutes sitting in my car to pick my child up first, and spending an entire months' salary on organic meals, then forget it.
I'm just not that kind of mother.
If you too are fighting your heart and instincts in an effort to reach an idea about motherhood, stop. If you are trying to be a certain kind of mom to please society or your own mother, stop. Be true to yourself, love your child and do your very best, because I've come to realize, that's the secret to being the best kind of mother.