Dil Wickremansinghe is no stranger to controversy and adversity. The broadcaster is in the news right now after her decade-old Irish national radio show was axed by Newstalk, just weeks after she spoke out about a fellow presenter’s views on rape.
This is just the latest episode in a life that has seen no shortage of trials and tribulations. Yet Dil remains as determined as ever and says she is now even more committed to standing up for what she believes in.
Interviewing her for my Love and Courage podcast, it was no surprise to discover the meaning of her name. “Dil actually means ‘heart’ in Hindi,” she told me. "Actually, my name fits me perfectly, because that’s what I am -- I am heart."
Born in Italy to wealthy Sri Lankan parents, who later returned to Sri Lanka and became Jehovah’s Witnesses, Dil has survived sexual abuse and later been shunned because of her sexuality. She has come through deep depression and thoughts of suicide, not to mention overcoming the challenges of establishing a life as a migrant in a new country.
She has been a dish-washer, a flight attendant, a recruitment consultant and a diversity trainer, as well as co-founding a rapidly expanding Dublin-based counseling centre. Her trailblazing spirit isn’t restricted to her professional life, either –- in 2015, Dil and her now-wife Ann Marie Toole became the first lesbian couple in Irish public life to start a family together.
“I’ll always carry in my heart that the world is mostly good, and people are mostly good. But it’s really important that we talk about the serious issues, and make sure that we continue advancing,” she told me when I interviewed her at her office in Dublin.
“If you didn’t think the world was a good place, what would be the point of fighting for it?”
Dil started her life in Ireland 17 years ago as a hotel dish-washer, and is now a successful entrepreneur, comedian and mental health advocate.
For Dil, speaking out about sexual violence is not simply a matter of principle – for her, it’s personal. In the candid one-hour interview, she spoke about surviving two years of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of her maths teacher.
“That was my first sexual experience, at the hands of this older man,” she said, recalling being expelled from school for failing maths because of flashbacks to the abuse.
“I carried this horrible secret for decades. I have layers and layers of trauma – but to balance that I have, now, layers and layers of resilience.
“I’ll never be in a place where I can say that nothing’s going to knock me, because the reality is that you don’t know what could happen tomorrow. But I have tools that I have developed and maintained over the years to get me out of it. And I have great friends, a great support circle – I feel very blessed.”
It’s thanks to that resilience that Dil has been able to withstand the many attacks that have come her way over the years. Simply being a migrant woman of colour in the public eye resulted in threats so serious that she was forced to call in the police. This was compounded by the prominent stance she took in support of LGBT rights in the run-up to Ireland’s 2015 equal marriage referendum, when she was just about to give birth to her first son.
“We didn’t feel safe – we thought somebody was going to come and attack us. So it was a tough time – but the good thing is: when you’re pregnant, although people think you’re very vulnerable, you actually become superhuman. You have way more blood pumping through your system – you’re actually more resilient.”
In spite of these experiences, Dil says Ireland has been good to her, and she felt welcomed from the minute she landed. “I know that, predominantly, Ireland is absolutely wonderful. The Irish people are wonderful. And I knew from the very moment I got here. Within 24 hours of arriving in Dublin Airport, I found myself marching down O’Connell Street, singing ‘It’s Raining Men’ as part of Dublin Pride Parade. In that moment, I realised: this country is fantastic, and I want to live here.”
“Ireland is on its way to becoming a better country. But we can’t be complacent – we need to keep pushing.”
You can listen to Ruairí McKiernan’s full interview with Dil Wickremasinghe on the Love and Courage podcast on itunes, soundcloud or whatever podcast app you use on your phone. More information at www.loveandcourage.org.