I'm Not Anyone's Other Half: I'm My Own Whole

Why must we settle for being just one half, or having just half a partner? When did we become such underachievers when it comes to something as important as love?
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

The front of a Valentine's Day card caught my eye last week -- it was addressed to "my other half." This term of affection got me thinking.

We all know what it means to be someone's other half. Whether you're the other half or the better half, the maths remain the same. You're still just 50 percent of the whole.

In a society that celebrates ambition, I'm not quite sure how being just half a person became so socially acceptable? If only we were to use our ambition towards the notion of success, money, career, or sports, and apply it to love! Why must we settle for being just one half, or having just half a partner? When did we become such underachievers when it comes to something as important as love?

You might say they're only words and that "my other half" is just a harmless expression, and not to take it all so seriously. That's true! But as a writer, martial artist, and as someone who competes in karate, I also know that the words you use are super important. The thoughts you have and the words you use echo your beliefs and shape your reality. So even a harmless phrase like "my other half" can sometimes have often more impact than you realise.

A Hollywood sentiment that ties in perfectly with this concept of being less than whole without your "other half," is the well known quote, "you complete me."

When we first heard this romantic line uttered from the film's male lead more than a decade ago, women around the world swooned. Big time. Women basked in the glory of this delightful phrase, and based on the reaction of my very lovely boyfriend at the time, some men did too.

As beautiful as this line may appear, a new standard in love and relationships was set. No longer was it enough to find love. We needed to find a partner who would complete us. And we needed to be able to complete them. No pressure.

Driven by such Hollywood ideals popular western belief says that someone else completes us when we find the man/ woman of our dreams -- but is this really true?

Clearly, my answer is going to be no -- otherwise this article won't serve much purpose. But before you point the finger and shout 'love cynic!' and 'hater!' I really want to be clear about how much I love love.

Love is, without a doubt, the best thing on the planet. It's love, not money, that makes the world go round (ok if we're really going to get specific on this, it's gravity and centrifugal force that does it -- but you know what I mean). Needless to say, I'm a total and utter believer when it comes to love.

But I'm not looking for my other half, and I don't want to be anyone else's other half. Not ever. Not because I don't want to experience love and all the magic and wonder that it has to offer, but because I am already whole.

I don't want to attract my other half. I'm already all here! It doesn't make sense to attract some other half -- I want to attract another whole. Now, please don't misinterpret "whole" for perfect, as they are totally different things. I don't expect anyone to be 'perfect' and perfection isn't what I'm looking for. Wholeness, however -- bring it on.

Me as a whole and him as a whole. Pow! Not living half of anything, but all of everything.

I'm a believer that love between one whole person and another whole person doesn't make one, or even two. It makes quantum leaps into universes of awesomeness where everything -- EVERYTHING -- is possible. There is no power stronger than love, especially unified love.

I would never give half of myself to a friend in need, or give just half of myself to a work project. I sure as hell wouldn't train at half pace, and I would never, ever give less than 100 percent when I'm competing in the ring. So when it comes to love, it's a no brainer. No halves please.

Mr. Whole, I know you're out there. Please come forward -- I haven't been able to find you yet and there's a whole lot of amazing stuff to get on with! Yes, I'm totally happy, I'm whole and I'm complete already, but there is no limit to how good life can get. My whole plus your whole creates total magic and that's just too brilliant to not know about and experience. So if you're reading this post, hit me up on twitter. If not, I'm sure we'll catch each other soon.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Go To Homepage

Popular in the Community