I've Finally Accepted That I'll Always Be On The Quiet Side

I was always a quiet and shy child. It would be like pulling teeth to get me to talk. Despite being quiet, I had a decent amount of friends in elementary school. But, as I grew up, I learned that I couldn't be non-talkative forever. It would get old.

Therefore, I began talking to fill the silence and avoid awkward situations. I figured filling the air would be better than sitting there feeling tense and uncomfortable. I was either talking to talk or not saying a word. I often asked myself which was better. I knew being completely quiet wouldn't fly, so why not just talk about anything?

My ex-boyfriend taught me how to have a conversation. I usually didn't elaborate or ask questions simply because I didn't see the reason, but I was told that I was awkward to talk to when I never kept the conversation going. I mean, I didn't see the point because I didn't want to talk to that person to begin with. But, then I started to think about what would happen once I landed a job.

How would I connect and work with other co-workers if I stupidly sat there saying not a word? Would I advance in my career? I mean, I was going to school for journalism for craps sake! How could I be a journalist if I wasn't able to have a conversation? So, little by little, I started asking people more questions and the awkwardness faded. Instead of me feeling uncomfortable, I think they didn't know what to say or how to act in front of me.

There are periods where you can't get me to shut up and then other moments where I won't talk at all. If there's nothing for me to say or talk about, I simply just keep to myself. And, people often say it's the quiet ones you must watch out for. If people saw me at my most comfortable, they'd be shocked at how spunky and loud I am. The only real person who I'm my true self with is my boyfriend.

And, overall, I'm glad he's more so on the quiet side because if he talked my ear off, I'd probably get pretty annoyed having to listen to him babble on about something. Sometimes, we simply just sit in our living room with the TV on and don't say a word to one another and it's not awkward. Periodically, we even sit in the car with silence and it's not odd. But, all in all, I think I'll be quiet my entire life and until you truly get to know me, I'm not going to talk a ton and that's okay.

I usually just talk when it's necessary, like when I'm conducting an interview or talking with someone extremely important. So, just get to know me before you judge me.